


Upside Down

by Arisocal



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Broken, Capture, Distance, F/M, Friends to Lovers, romanogers - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-21
Updated: 2018-09-03
Packaged: 2019-05-26 09:02:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 35,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14997440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arisocal/pseuds/Arisocal
Summary: Natasha disappeared from their lives a while ago, but when she shows up at Steve's doorstep with two small children and fear in her eyes---all he could do was hug her. For once in his life as Captain America, he felt like a complete failure.





	1. Chapter 1

Steve Rogers lived a pretty lonely life. He was not alone, he had his teammates who he considered to be good friends. He was not a lonely person, just preferred the quietness and lonely atmosphere when he was not in the middle of getting blown up or shot at.

So his downtimes were spent in in peace. He read and drew, sometimes he watched the news. But usually, he preferred silence. Which meant hardly anyone knocked on his door, especially at 8pm on a stormy winter’s night.

“Natasha?” Steve’s eye widened at the person standing outside his door.

She was carrying two small children, both with terrified and sad expressions in their faces. The three of them were dirty and wet, clearly not having the best day of their lives.

To make it even more dramatic, the rain poured louder and heavier against the world, causing the red head to shiver at more contact with the water. The toddlers in her arms just stayed still and wide-eyed.

“Are you okay?” Steve questioned as he examined the few cuts on her face and the way her lips quivered.

She shook her head as Steve opened the door wider to let them in. His first thought was to hug her, but then the two mortified children attached to her made him reconsider. Instead, he rushed to grab a couple of towels and handed them to Natasha. She quickly dried the two children before hurriedly drying herself. The entire time, it was just silence. He never found the words to utter and Natasha was focused on the tiny humans that clung onto her.

“Sit here and stay, okay?” Natasha spoke to the children as she guided them onto Steve’s couch. “Remember, he’s good, okay? Please just stay put,” she was both begging and reassuring the toddlers before walking back towards Steve, who just stood across the room.

_What the hell?_ It was all Steve could think of. _Did Natasha rescue two small children? Or did she kidnap two small children? And where had she been all this time?_ She was always a private person, but goodness this _had_ to be something else.

Her arms flew around his neck and all Steve could do was hug her. He hugged her tightly and just held her. He stole glances towards the toddlers huddled together on his couch across the room. They stared at him equally, the fearful expressions on their faces still showing.

“I’m so, so sorry,” Natasha sobbed in his arms. “I tried to escape many times but the pregnancy was horrible and I basically thought I was going to die.”

_What?_

Steve looked at her in full confusion. He had spent the past year and a half trying to track her down. She had disappeared without a word and it shattered his heart. He knew she would not do that to him, and he tried to believe she would never. She would not leave without explanation. They were friends—friends who occasionally crosses boundaries—but valued the importance of one another. But at one point, it did become easier to believe she left on her own, rather than assuming the worst of her.

“I—“ Natasha swallowed, unsure of what to say. “Please know I had every intention of telling you,” She cried. “I’m not really sure who I am anymore, Steve. I’m not sure what happened during the time I was captured.”

Steve wanted to hold her again. Anything to take away the tears and obvious pain she was holding it. But he was still confused and clueless as to what happened. Where she had been. What they had done to her.

“Captured?” He echoed in confusion.

He motioned towards the kitchen, he really did not think it was appropriate for the two small children to hear their conversation, or for them to see their mother fall apart. Steve feared that they would be even more sadden at the scene before them.

“I left that morning to go run an errand, just as I said,” Natasha spoke in between sobs as they walked into the next room. “I had messaged Dr. Cho and confide in her about my suspicion. I thought I was pregnant and I didn’t trust any outside doctors.”

Steve knew his eyes were wide and filled with shock at her words. He recalled that morning; he wanted breakfast, she said she had something to tend and could possibly meet him for a late lunch. He accepted her excuse and assumed they would meet up later as she suggested. He never saw her again. No one had. And the pregnancy comment definitely sent signals to his brain. He had a lot to ask now, but Natasha was not done expressing her current state.

“I went exactly where Dr. Cho said to meet,” Natasha continued. “But it wasn’t Dr. Cho. It was someone else I did not know. I don’t know what happened after I walked in because I was knocked out and I woke up chained to a metal bed with wires attached to me. I barely remember anything or anyone because I would constantly be induced into a coma. I remember waking up again and the babies were born. I never got to hold them because they went to run experiments on them,”

Steve pulled her into another hug and squeezed her tight. It was a lot to hear and take in, it had just been a short moment ago that Natasha entered his life again. She was shaking, defeated, lost, and in pure pain. Everything Steve had never seen her to be. She was a strong woman, hardly showed emotions to others, but also was one of the most loyal beings he knew—as she let him invade her space and personal life and he eventually became her “dorky, bossy, but needed companion,” as she liked to put it.

“I kept trying to break free. I needed to get out. I needed to rescue the babies,” She spoke, still clinging to Steve. “I remember two crying babies and they kept saying to test for the genetics. It took me a long time but I managed to break out from the chains and clamps. It hurt so bad. I didn’t realize how much testing they had done on me while I was pregnant. I don’t know how much further damaged they could have done to my body, but it stung so bad.”

The rain made its presence known again as lightning filled the room and two small children darted into the kitchen, letting out a muffled “Mama, anne, ma, anne!”

Steve was unsure if he could make out what they were saying, but they ran to Natasha, hugging each leg as they tried to cry in silent.

“It’s okay,” Natasha spoke, bending down to both of them. “You can cry here.”

Steve felt his heart break at the scene. He had so many questions to ask and he did not know where to begin. But the idea of children having to cry in silence and in fear made him clench his fist. What environment had Natasha and these children been in—to where they could not cry out loud.

“He won’t hurt you, remember what I said?” Natasha lifted both children up.

The two blondes nodded, tears in the eyes still. The crying had stopped and their mother’s words seemed to have calmed them down.

“Baba?” The boy rested his head on Natasha’s shoulder, his eyes looking at Steve’s.

Natasha swallowed and just nodded her head against the small child.

“I’ll be right here, but I need to talk to him, okay?” She spoke to the children. “I need you both in the living room, you’re safe.”

Steve was unsure if the children really understood. They were still small—they were toddlers. Regardless if they understood or not, Natasha had disappeared into the living room with them and he could hear the TV being turned on. Distraction sounded like a good idea. She walked back into the kitchen moments later and Steve still had no time to think about the entire event that just happened in front of him.

“I’m sorry,” Natasha let out as she faced him again.

There had been so many apologies from her end tonight and Steve was still not sure if she should even been sorry—he should be sorry. He never found her. It was his duty to keep her safe.

“Where did they take you?” He finally managed to speak.

“We were moved around a lot, but I believe primarily in Turkey. When I escaped, we were in Turkey,” She answered.

“God Nat,” Steve stared at her.

She had been through so much in the last two years and of all the possibilities he had thought of, none of them really had her pregnant or held hostage. Yet here she was, apologizing every second about her disappearance.

“I thought you couldn’t get pregnant,” He had not mean to utter the words, but hardly anything was clear in his mind at the moment.

Natasha just looked to the floor and Steve instantly regretted his statement.

“The kids—“

“You have to know they’re yours,” She cut him off before the question even escaped his mouth.

He nodded. He knew. Sensed it. _Hoped it_.

“I don’t know them much,” Natasha admitted. “They were never really with me,” the tears began to form again. “I couldn’t protect them.”

Steve watched as she practically broke down against his kitchen counter.

“I couldn’t protect you,” He corrected her.

“You didn’t know,” Natasha defended.

Steve shook his head.

“I should have tried harder,” He said, almost too angrily.

“They were good at what they did, Steve,” She managed to let out calmly. “Even it took me almost two years to get out, and I was good at my job.”

Silence filled the room once again and their eyes locked together. Steve held her gaze for what seemed like an eternity. She looked smaller and so fragile standing in front of him.

He had missed her so much and had dreamt of many moments where she would come back, and now that the reality was really in front of him—he was angry. So angry at himself.

“Can we stay here?” Natasha asked, her eyes still watery. “For a while?”

“Of course,” Steve nodded.

She was crazy to think he was going to send her off somewhere else. After the all that she had just shared with him, he was not letting her out of his sight. They had so much to discuss _and_ he had children to get to know.

_Holy shit._


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys like this chapter. The story is just unfolding and honestly I'm not sure how long I plan to make this, but the next few chapters are put together so we may have a little while together :) Thanks again for the kind comments from the first chapter! I love hearing them.

They had all settled into Steve’s bedroom after Natasha took a quick shower with the toddlers to rinse off the filth from who knows how long. The shower felt refreshing, but she had no clothes to change into and Steve would have easily ran to the Tower if she had let him. He insisted her belongings were still at her suite there and he could be back quickly. But she did not want anyone asking him questions, so his clothes will have to do. She did need to get children’s clothes though.

“Do they know about me?” Steve asked quietly, his eyes fixed on the two toddlers sleeping on his bed.

Natasha nodded.

“As much as they can comprehend,” She answered. “Honestly, I didn’t even know if they understood English. They were always being tested and experimented on and away from me.”

Her voice was sad. She had missed out on their children just as much as him.

“I grabbed them out of the room they were kept in and just ran. I ran for it. I don’t know how long,” Natasha recalled. “It was night and I kept running. They were so quiet. They just held on, like they knew I was finally saving them. Like their mother was finally rescuing them from all the pain.”

The room was dimmed but Steve knew the tears in Natasha’s eyes were forming with every word she spoke as the memory replayed.

“It’s not official because I have no birth certificates but I named them James and Sarah,” Her small smile melted Steve’s heart as she leaned in and brushed a messy strand of blonde hair off of the girl—Sarah’s sleeping face.

She had not smiled since she knocked on his door and he had forgotten how much he missed that.

“Natasha,” He said, almost in a whisper. “I—thank you,” the words would not form, but Steve was taken aback at what she had just said. “That means a lot.”

“I hoped it would,” She spoke warmly. “I thought that if the situation was different and you were there—I never doubted your willingness to be involved and I just knew you would want to name them after those who made positive impacts in your life. James and Sarah kind of just stuck when I found out it was a boy and a girl,” she explained. “I’m not sure if they really know their names though,” she added softly.

Steve figured whoever captured them did not bother to use names. Why would they? The children were treated as experimental objects and it made his blood boil. He wanted to take down those who hurt his children.

“We got out of their facility months ago, but I had a hard time trying to get into the United States without documents,” Natasha continued to explain. “I had no money, no ways to contact anyone. Nothing. I didn’t know where to begin. I just had these twins who babbled in Turkish and looked up to me for reassurance every moment. I hung onto that and eventually got things together.”

Steve finally sat down next to her on the bed, carefully, not wanting to wake the sleeping toddlers—as much as he wanted them to be awake so he could study their faces and let fatherhood sink in.

“We took a ship to get here. It took weeks, but they were kind workers. I told them part of my story and they felt bad enough to let us in with their cargo—as long as I kept my promise by disappearing when we dock at the U.S customs. As long as the twins stayed quiet, I could make my dash. And I did. Once I was finally in the country, I just had to find you and I would be okay again,” Steve had pulled her into his arms again by the time she finished her recollection.

He felt safe, reassuring, and everything Natasha had longed for in all the hours she spent alone, chained, and tortured.

“I kept telling James and Sarah I would get them to their father, they’ll be safe with you,” She rested her head against his shoulder.

Before Steve could hold her closer, she quickly lifted her head off of his shoulder.

“Was I wrong to tell them about you?” She asked, her eyes suddenly held fear and Steve had no idea what brought that on.

“What? _No_ ,” He responded, startled at her question.

“I should have asked you what role you wanted in their lives,” Her voice remained small. “I just thought safety and ran to you. I know you wouldn’t abandoned them. But I might not be the deal mother you envisioned for your children.”

“I’m so sorry Nat,” It was Steve’s turn to apologize, he was unsure of where the boundaries held now, all he wanted to do was touch her face and reassure her that she was all he could think about every single day. “I should have found you. I should have been there from the beginning. You were not wrong at all. You know me, I’m their father. I’m in all the way,” He pulled her back into his arms. “You three should have never had to go through that.”

He knew he played a huge role as to why they were captured. Those villains clearly knew who the father of those children were and they used them for testing. The guilt was finally fully taking over Steve and he was not sure if he could live with it. Natasha suffered because of him. His—their children suffered because of him. He felt like someone was punching his gut and ripping his heart open at the sudden ache that filled him. _Why did so many have to suffer because of him?_

“I got you into this mess,” he broke the long silence that filled his bedroom.

Natasha pulled away from his grip once again.

“No,” She spoke firmly. “You didn’t know.”

“I should have respected you!” He said loudly, almost causing Natasha to jump. “I let my emotions get the best of me and took every opportunity you allowed to crawl into bed with you—“

“That’s as much on me as it is on you,” Natasha interrupted calmly.

“You would have never been in this situation if it wasn’t for me,” Steve locked his guilty eyes with hers.

But Natasha just shook her head.

“I don’t want to play the blame game,” She spoke with a heavy sigh. “I just want to be safe for the night. To finally just sleep. And for them to be safe,” she was almost in tears again as her hand rested on James’ small arm.

Steve knew he should let her rest. She needed it. She had been through so much and all she probably wanted was deep sleep for once.

“Mama,” Sarah cried out, crawling out of her sleeping form.

Natasha reacted quickly, pulling her up and placing her on her lap.

“Ma,” The soft cry continued as Sarah buried her small face into Natasha’s chest.

“They’re still learning to call me mom,” Natasha let out a shy laugh. “They only knew Turkish, so they were used to calling out ‘anne,’ which is mom in Turkish,” she explained.

Steve could not help but finally let it sink in that Natasha is a mother. A mother of two. A mother of _his_ children. They shared children together and he was not sure how to take that in. Captain America is a father. _How was that going to play out?_ Twins. Twins with Natasha—Black Widow—the woman who scoffed at the idea of love and had no desire for children, despite the fact that Steve saw her capability of loving children. She adored Clint’s children and she was their doting aunt. He never questioned her ability to be a good mother, deep down, he knew her compassion was there—setting aside the front she held.

She proved him right as she told him the story of how cruel the world had been to her during the twenty-two months that she was gone and her determination to get the twins to safety. And as she cradled their little girl in the dimmed room, he wanted to pinch himself—maybe he would wake up from a twisted dream now.

A family with Natasha did not sound like a bad idea—had anyone asked him years ago. They were good together and their friendship was very true. It was Natasha that withheld the idea of falling in love and he accepted it. He was weak when it came to her and took what he could. He looked forward to the times she let him hold her, comfort her after draining missions, and just all the little things they did together. He was definitely deeply invested in her more than she probably was with him and he accepted it. As she pointed out, he was all good while she was made up of a lot of bad—even if he disagreed.

“Can you say hi?” Natasha’s soft voice broke Steve from his ongoing thoughts.

He had been so lost in his mind, he did not notice that Sarah no longer had tears in her eyes and she was staring at him with big curious blue eyes.

“Baba?” Sarah looked back at her mother in question.

“Yes, daddy,” Natasha nodded. “Say hi? Remember, he’s going to protect you.”

Sarah reached her little arms to Steve, asking to be held. Without hesitation, Steve whisked her off of Natasha’s lap and he felt like it was his turn to break down. Sarah gripped her small hands around his neck tightly, as if she was holding on to truly make sure he was real. She held on for a long time before lifting her head up to stare back at him. For many years, Steve looked himself in the mirror and saw his lost eyes reflecting back at him. Sarah’s hard stare reminded him of those times, blue eyes that mirrored his and he felt that stab again.

_How could anyone hurt this little girl?_ She was so little and innocent. Her eyes had probably seen more cruelty than most adults and he wanted to erase those memories from her. From all three of them. From Natasha, who remains to be so strong despite what she had been through, and from little James who was just as lost as his sister.

“How old are they?” He asked, knowing Natasha may not even really know when their birthday is.

“Sixteen months,” She answered. “Their file said they were born on September 7th and that James is older. I don’t have much more than that,” she said sadly.

Sarah snuggled against Steve’s chest and he hoped he was comfortable enough for her. He did not have much practice with holding children, nor did he really know how to be a father. He just knew the second Natasha stood outside with a toddler at each hip, he was meant to wrap his arms around all of them.

“I didn’t have a picture of you, so I couldn’t show them. But I kept telling them we were going to see you and I just hoped they understood,” Natasha offered the details. “When I knocked on your door, I had just told them to hope with me that we were at the right place. And that their father is going to help us. I just wanted them to be safe again and sleep peacefully for once.”

“Nat, get some rest,” it was all Steve could say.

He could see all the pain in her eyes and all he could really offer was for her to rest.

“You’re all safe now, just rest,” He was almost begging at this point.

He stood up, holding Sarah carefully to gesture for Natasha to lay down and take over the bed.

“Can we just all sleep in here tonight?” She asked with hopeful eyes, she was not a weak person and had she been alone during the months she was captured, it may have been easier to fight back and risk her life further.

But there were two tiny people looking up to her for safety and she knew she had to play well. She had to take precautions for all of them. She hated sounded desperate when it came to confiding in Steve, and yet she did not care. Strengths and weaknesses were two very different things, and while she was mainly known for one when it came to the world--Steve was allowed to see her weaknesses. He never judged her and through all the shit she had encountered, the bruises and scars on her body, she just wanted him. Finally a familiar face to look up to and warm arms to fall apart in. She held it together for so long, fighting for her children, but now--she needed to let it out.

Steve found himself nodding at Natasha's pleading, even if his bed did not seem big enough for the four of them. Natasha took the moment to turn on the other lamp so she could rearrange James a little better on the bed. It was then that the little boy jolted awake—in pure panic.

“Hey, it’s just mama,” Natasha comforted as fear washed over the toddler’s face.

Steve felt the aching sting again. No children should wake up with constant fear and the wide shaken look his son— _his little boy_ —had just expressed was heartbreaking.

James’ small face softened at the sight of his mother. His eyes darted over to Steve’s standing form by the bed, still carrying the now sleeping Sarah in his arms.

It was then that Steve noticed the slight differences in the twins’ features. Sarah mirrored his blue eyes and blonde hair, but James had a more strawberry blonde and his eyes clearly belonged to his mother. Steve knew those electric green eyes very well.

“Just me, Sarah, and you remember—“

“Baba,” James nodded slowly.

Steve figured at this point that had to mean dad or father as Natasha just nodded her head.

“We’re going to all sleep here, okay?” Natasha leaned over to kiss James’ little head. “Can you pick a spot so daddy can put Sarah down next to you?”

Steve was still getting used to the idea of being a father, he had no idea how natural Natasha made it all sound. She spoke like she had been referring to him as their father for years now.

All little James did was snuggle down on the pillow. He looked up at Steve, as if he was waiting for his sister to join him.

It was Natasha that gave him the reassurance of putting the little girl back on the bed. While Steve wanted to hold onto her for a little longer, he gently placed Sarah down next to James. Whether it was the fatherly instinct or what, he leaned down and placed a kiss on Sarah’s forehead and then on James’, who rewarded him with a sleepy smile as he closed his eyes.

“Pillows must feel like heaven right about now,” Natasha commented. “I don’t think any of us have slept on anything but the floor and metal.”

Steve could just kill those bastards who hurt them. He was angry, but also fulfilled. He had no idea that his heart had been empty all this time and it became full the moment Natasha introduced him to their children. The situation was unfortunate and ugly, but Steve was also grateful. Natasha was back. Broken, hurt, and tired, but she was right there in front of him—beautiful as ever, even with her tired smile. And then there was James and Sarah. Two little people he had never known up until a few hours ago and yet he was never going to let them out of his sight.

Natasha had crawled under the covers, finally letting the exhaustion of almost two years take over.

Steve found himself on the other end of the bed and he made a mental note to invest in at least a king size bed for future family—he had to shake the thought out of his head. The idea of future family bed snuggles sounded comforting, except he had to remember that he and Natasha were never an official couple. She never declared her love for him and she may never.

He let out a sigh at the thought and hoped the future would be brighter for all of them.

“Nat?” He called out softly.

Natasha let out a light “hmm” in her half asleep state.

“They’re beautiful. They’re perfect,” He whispered.

“Yeah, they are,” Natasha whispered back.

Steve closed his eyes. He would deal with those villains sooner than later.


	3. Chapter 3

Steve awoke to a tiny foot on his face. His eyes grew wide open at the realization of a tiny foot on him, until the events of the night before replayed in his mind.

_ Natasha. _

He stood up, carefully, letting Sarah’s small foot fall back onto the bed. He looked across the bed to three very sleepy heads. Sarah was practically up against the bed frame, while James was pushing Natasha nearly off the bed. It was a sight Steve could get used to, but he was also sure someone would wake him up from the moment very soon. It was too good to be true.

But then the reality and pain of how the three deep sleepers ended up on his bed hit him again and he felt the need to let out some frustration with his punching bag. The clock had flashed 7:14am, which was considerably late for his usual 5:30 natural clock. Rather than rolling out of bed, Steve stayed still. He replayed the evening and let the event unfold once again, trying to let it all sink in.

_He’s a father. A father to twins. He shares children with Natasha. They were parents. And he still needed to find the criminals who damaged his family._

“Hi,” Bright baby blue eyes stared at Steve as he rubbed his eyes.

He was slightly startled by the suddenly wide awake toddler, but it was a morning greeting he would not mind daily.

“Hey,” He greet back as Sarah crawled on him.

“Aç!” She exclaimed.

Steve wished he understood her. She was smiling at him, which meant she had to be in a good mood and a little more comfortable with him as she slept soundly overnight.

“Da, aç!” She exclaimed again, this time with a slight frown.

“She’s hungry,” Natasha mumbled, sleepily.

Steve felt himself panic. He had no toddler food readily available and he had no idea what to feed them. It was not like Natasha knocked on his door with really anything.

“Feels different to actually be sleeping laying down,” Natasha was definitely awake now. “Normally we sleep huddled, sitting, and it was always a painful morning,” She groaned.

“We need to go shopping,” Steve stood up.

“What?” Natasha let out another groan. “We just woke up.”

Steve rose up and tried to get his barely awake mind to make a mental list of what he needed to get. He definitely needed food—toddler type of foods, and Natasha made a comment about clothes. None of them had clothing to change into.

“We should not really be out,” Natasha said, sitting up on the bed. “Who knows if we’re being tracked.”

Steve frowned at her words, but he knew she was right. He also did not want to leave them unattended either. What if someone was watching them and waiting for the opportunity to attack?

“Should I send someone to get groceries and clothes?” He asked, not knowing who he could even ask to do those favors without questioning him. “I’m not comfortable leaving you guys alone.”

Natasha pondered for a moment. Steve was right, they definitely needed clothes and she was not sure what the kitchen held when it came to food, but she trusted that they probably needed to restock either way. Normally, she would fight him about her capabilities of being alone. However, her recent experiences were still fresh and being dragged into that lifestyle again made her shiver. She would accept any extra protection for her and for the twins right now.

“Is Wanda available? You could ask her,” She suggested.

“She’ll ask why I need female clothes and toddler clothes and a long list of groceries that revolve around baby snacks.”

“We’ll be fine here for a little while, you go,” Natasha encouraged.

Steve shook his head.

“We all go,” He stated. “I can disguise myself, we’ll be quick.”

Natasha did not argue with him and he was glad. He could get the groceries and accomplish that task, but buying baby clothes and clothes for Natasha, he was clueless.

“Do you have bread or anything soft they can eat for now?” Natasha asked as Sarah grabbed onto her, clearly wanting food.

“Yogurt and bananas?” It was all Steve could think of.

“They’re not picky, they’ll eat it,” Natasha stood up from the bed, picking Sarah up with her.

She replaced her spot on the bed with pillows to keep James in place. She stated before that she barely had time to spend with them and did not get much motherly-bonding moments with them, but Steve could not help notice how quickly she took on the role. He stood up from his side and copied her actions before guiding them out of the bedroom. James had made no actions that he intended to get up soon.

As Natasha dug through his kitchen with the quiet toddler, Steve began to make a list of what they needed. Definitely food, snacks, clothing, shoes—the twins did not wear shoes, toys to keep them occupied—should he get beds for them? He barely had room, his rental was small and he considered moving to accommodate them. But then he stopped the thoughts for the mere reason Natasha will probably scold him at the crazy idea. He had to add clothes and necessities for Natasha on the list too.

Once Natasha was comfortable making her way around every cabinet in his house, he excused himself to go shower.

Steve entered his bedroom to be greeted by a confused messy strawberry blonde toddler. James was sitting up in the middle of the bed, looking around the room.

“Hey buddy,” Steve spoke, keeping his tone low as he moved closer towards the bed.

The last thing he wanted was to startle him.

James looked at him. His face slightly uneasy, but not terrified.

“Looking for your mama and sister?” Steve sat on the edge of the bed.

He figured he sounded pathetic at the way he was being overly cautious with his words. But the toddler was probably not judging him on that. This whole fatherhood role would most likely take time and getting to know either James or Sarah may take him a little bit longer as they were reserved toddlers.

But James nodded, letting him know he understood his question.

“Mama,” He nodded again.

“Okay,” Steve held out his hand.

James took it, standing his little body up.

—

Steve shook his head to sink the reality in front of him. From the kitchen counter, he had a pretty good view of Natasha sitting on the couch with Sarah snuggled up in her arms. She had her eyes closed while Sarah mindlessly played with her mother’s hand and occasionally glancing up at the TV.

James was making noises on the carpet, playing with what sounded like an empty water bottle. Steve made another note to really go shopping for toys.

Since he last saw Natasha, so much has changed with her—and now him too. She had left that Thursday morning to run errands just as the typical Nat he knew. Slightly irritated that Sam was trying to test new protein drinks and not giving the loud blender a break. It was almost the beginning of Spring then, March was making its presence known and Steve decided to go on his first outdoor jog of the season that day. He caught Natasha on his way down and insisted on breakfast, which ended up being turned into a lunch as she stated her morning plans.

When 2pm came and no word from her, he traced her last location, which had been wiped. A cringing feeling started to wash over him as he alerted the team. They reassured him she was probably off doing some hidden agenda and would be back later. But he knew Natasha. As much as she played games and tagged people along, she had shown her soft side for him long ago. She never broke a promise when it came to their agreements and she certainly never missed plans without informing him of the changes. Danger flashed through his mind as he tried to consider where she could have been.

Clint had no idea. She had not communicated with him and he swore on it as it had been nearly a week since Natasha was last seen and Captain America was ready to strangle anyone who withheld information from him about the Black Widow. Wanda had the only clue and that was that Natasha said she needed to check on something, except she never elaborated what that was.

Steve’s eyes flicked back at the small blonde who just stared at her resting mother, poking at any shown skin.

He figured Natasha was almost two months pregnant then when she left to potentially meet up with Dr. Cho privately. Two months with twins and not showing? He definitely did not know much about the female body in that way, but that seemed odd. He recounted how many times he actually had seen her in his bed between January and February and it had been plenty. He could not recall changes in her body and he knew her body well, had studied it many times before.

“The puking makes sense now,” Steve spoke as he sat on the couch next to her.

He knew she was awake, he still knew her body language well.

“Hmm?” She hummed, opening one eye to see him next to her.

“You puked three times when we were in Vienna,” he noted.

“Yes, but so did Sam,” she laughed.

“He pukes when someone pukes,” Steve had to laugh with her at the memory.

“But oh god, you fought at the airport. You were pregnant then,” his eyes grew wide at the sudden realization.

Natasha just shrugged.

“Pretty sure the fight was nowhere near as bad as what we encountered in isolation.”

Steve nodded.

“Car,” James pointed at the TV as a cartoon car was shown.

“Yes, detka,” Natasha smiled down towards him. “They’re both pretty advanced for their age,” She turned to Steve. “They learn quickly. I have only exposed them to the real world for a couple of months and they acclimated well. Nervous and still uneasy about it, but I think they get it.”

—

Steve ran his hand through his face in frustration. He had no car seats and it was not his fault, but safety was really the only thing in his mind when it came to his children. Natasha said they can get those later and she would just hold onto them in the backseat.

The January winter was just beginning to show true coldness in upstate New York and Steve noted to get coats for his passengers first. And shoes, god they had to be freezing.

The department store was the best option for their situation and everything could be found under one giant roof. Steve imagined taking young children shopping was probably difficult, but the twins were pretty quiet and barely looked up from their mother’s chest. He felt bad, Natasha was strong, but carrying two sixteen-month-olds for a long period of time had to be tiring on the arms.

“Should I hold them?” Steve asked, unsure if they would even let him.

They were okay with him, they found him a lot safer than the strangers around them--but he was not the comforting mother they knew. He was still new to them and his interactions were limited. He had not been alone in a room with them, nor had he really held them without Natasha at an arm’s reach. It was also the moment Steve decided they needed those carseats and strollers.

Natasha just looked at the toddlers before moving closer towards Steve to hand them over. Even she was unsure of how they would react. But they hardly made any movements as Steve held them both. Neither James or Sarah gave any indication that they were uncomfortable, which eased the moment for both Steve and Natasha.

Natasha let out a sigh as her arms were free and she turned around to pick out clothing. She had no idea what she was doing. Out of all the things she had to do, buying clothes for her own children was never taken into consideration. She did not know their sizes, but seeing 18-24 months plastered on the tiny clothing helped, they looked like they would fit.

“I will reimburse you,” Natasha spoke aloud, throwing toddler clothes into the shopping cart. “Once I get access to my life again.”

“Nope,” Steve shook his head. “Not allowed.”

“I’m going to be getting a lot of things,” Natasha reminded him. “There’s two of them and I’m pretty sure babies grow fast.”

“Doesn’t matter,” Steve smiled. 

_ God, was he really holding their twins _ , while Natasha shopped for them.

Clothes shopping for toddlers was somewhat quick, Natasha just grabbed anything that made sense at this point. If it looked like it would fit them, was not too corny, it would work. She tried to be smart and invested in warm clothing, along with something for them to sleep in, lounging clothes, and shoes. Multiple pairs of shoes. Socks. She had never seen so much brightness when it came to clothing before--so much pastel colors.

What else did toddlers need?

Hats, gloves, scarves… they needed so much.

“I don’t intend on running any time soon,” Natasha spoke, softly as she approached Steve and the kids. “But I might need a suitcase just in case.”

She hated to say it. She just came back. She was home again, but she had to play it smart.

“I have a few at the house, they’ll work.” Steve nodded, he understood where she was coming from.

They still have to watch their backs. Whoever captured them is most likely out to find them--the need to run and hide might be necessary.

“Strollers?” Steve asked as they began to leave the children’s area.

“What?” Natasha was rather surprised by the suggestion.

“They’re both pretty heavy after a while,” Steve admitted, shifting his arms.

James and Sarah were calm babies. As long as no one approached them and invaded their personal space, they were silent. It made the whole outing easier but it also made Steve angry. They were supposed to be loud, happy, and little rascals. That was how he imagined toddlers to be. They were known to be curious, to explore, and to make their presence known. But due to the circumstances they were brought up in, they were very secluded.

“You’re getting old, Captain,” Natasha smirked at him.

Oh and if Steve had been missing her before, he definitely missed that. He missed her playful remarks and her cheerful tone.


	4. Chapter 4

A knock on the door at nine in the morning was not as odd as the eight at night that Steve encountered the other day.

But still, Steve hesitated to open it.

He slowly opened the door, knowing the Falcon was in for a whole lot of surprises. Today was probably not the best day for guests, but fellow teammates were known to unexpectedly stop to check up on him.

“Hey Cap!” Sam grinned.

“Hey Sam,” Steve greeted.

Sam frowned, wondering why Steve had not opened the door further like he normally does to signal him inside.

“Can I come in?” He asked, almost unsure if he should even bother.

Steve just opened the door wider, enough for Sam to look in.

“Natasha!” Sam exclaimed in pure shock. “Holy—there’s a child?”

Natasha smirked at him as she held James in her arms. He had not changed one bit and his surprised face was priceless, as usual.

“Sam,” She nodded his way and James clutched onto her tighter at the face of a stranger.

“Uh—you’re back!” Sam could not keep his voice down at the shocking event in front of him. “Why is there a child?”

“There’s two of them,” Steve pointed out as his eyes went straight to where Sarah was smashing her little fingers into her pancake, clearly making a mess on the living room carpet.

“What?!” Sam’s eyes grew wide. “What happened? What’s going on?”

He finally stepped inside the house as the questions kept coming.

Sam’s unfamiliar voice alerted Sarah and she made a quick run towards her mother. It was also the same moment that James began to whimper quietly in his mother’s arms. His little hand gripping tightly on Natasha’s shirt, fearing that he would be taken away, while Sarah hugged her leg tightly.

“He’s a friend,” Natasha uttered, her free hand coming down to pat Sarah’s head. “You’re safe,” She reassured.

The twins did not loosen their grip on their mother, but their faces relaxed a little at her words. Natasha knew she was asking a lot from them in such short amount of time. The only people they were ever around did nothing but torture them. Any new face was usually an enemy and Natasha had only ever talked about their father to them. Her main focus was to get them to safety and he was the most comforting person she knew. So she told them about him, usually when they were finally alone, drifting to sleep. She had plenty of stories to tell and even though they were not fully comfortable, they were relaxed with Steve’s presence and she knew her stories and mentions of him had helped. It also probably was reassuring that she found comfort in him and the twins could see that.

Sam stayed still, hesitant with his next move as he realized he startled the toddlers that were oddly in Steve’s house and clinging to dear life on Natasha—-who had been gone for almost two years.

“This is Sam,” Steve spoke, looking from James and Sarah. “He’s mine and mama’s friend,” He could see the bewilderment flash in Sam’s eyes as he introduced the toddlers to him. “Want to say hi?”

There was a brief pause among everyone, and then Sarah let her grip go on Natasha’s leg. She studied the new person in the house and then looked back at Steve for further confirmation.

“Want to say hi?” Steve repeated towards her when he noticed she was in deep consideration about her next move.

She nodded her little head and walked over to him, clearly declaring she would not approach the stranger without being safe in trusting arms.

Steve picked her up naturally and walked her over to Sam. He knew he was about to give the Falcon a heart attack with the news he had to share, but it was now or never.

“Sam, this is Sarah,” Steve introduced, not taking his eyes off the toddler. “My daughter.”

Sam just stood still and then looked over at Natasha, who had kept to herself.

“And that over there,” Steve looked towards James. “That’s my son, James.”

“Uhh,” Sam let out as he took in the new information presented to him. “I need way more than just that.” He said, looking at Natasha and Steve. “Like where have you been?! Where were these kids? How did this happen?”

Natasha rolled her eyes at him. Sam had not done much, but she was already irritated with him like old times—he was like her pesky brother and she missed him—she would just keep that information to herself though.

“Steve can fill you in while I give two very syrupy and sticky babies a bath,” Natasha cooed at James, her voice sounding very unfamiliar to Sam.

She walked over to take Sarah from Steve and disappeared down the hall.

“Who the hell is that?!” Sam demanded. “The Natasha I know does not coo!”

“Let me grab you a beer,” Steve suggested before they sat down at the kitchen table to discuss all of Sam’s eager questions.

—

Natasha felt like a terrible person. She had sixteen month old twins and it was first time she would be giving them a bath. She had no parental rights to them while in captivity, which meant aside from the few moments their capturers allowed her to feed them as infants, she hardly had contact with them.

And while on the run to get out of a Turkey, she had no roof over their heads and no showers. They rinsed at beaches, showered quickly in public areas. She never had the time to set the bath for them and let them splash around like what she imagined mothers did with their toddlers.

Just as she had expected, James and Sarah were foreign to the idea of a bath. They were shocked at first when she placed them in the tub filled with warm water and then they were curious. It was James who accepted the scenario as play time first, hitting the water with his little hands to create a splash. His actions eventually rubbed off on his sister as she joined him in play time.

Natasha decided she would ask Steve if he could get them bubble soap for next time, she figured they would like it. And maybe some water toys.

Motherhood was not something she had seen in her future. She was robbed of that idea long ago and she accepted it. She deserved it. She was not a good person, she killed and she was good at it. She played games and tortured people. Her past was filled with cruelty and it made sense that she could never have children.

Then Steve happened. He has always been the complete opposite of her and she figured it’s why she was drawn to him. He was everything she could never be and having him around made her feel slightly human. She trusted him and he generally trusted her. So the fact that she did get pregnant only made sense it was by Steve. Because life was hardly ever kind to her and she would fail at motherhood under any other given circumstances. She remembered hearing the twins’ first cries and she knew she had to get them to Steve. It was in that moment she realized how much she relied on him for the foreign things in life—like what a trusted friendship meant with no ‘I-owe-yous’ attached, what comfort meant, and what teamwork held. She needed him and as she became a mother, she had never felt so lost without him.

Clint used to tell everyone that Natasha does not rely on others and she does not need a partner. She likes to be alone and private. That was safety to her. And Clint knew her well. But now, Natasha knew he would see right through her. He already noted just how different her friendship with Steve was versus theirs. Steve became of such high importance to her. Clint told her then that while he knew he was her longest friend, he could see she had a much softer spot for the Captain. And he was right. There was no one out there that Natasha was willing to break laws for other than Steve. She had risked a lot for him and she knew he would do the same for her.

So yes, motherhood was new, scary, and she had no idea what to do for the most part. Setting aside the fact that Steve is the father of her children, she could have easily ran to Clint. He and Laura could have helped her. They had three children together and they clearly knew how to be parents. Even though running to them made the most logical sense because they would have gladly helped get Steve to her and it would have worked out in the end—all she could think of in her weakest moments was Steve. She just wanted his dorky cheesy smile to greet her in the darkness. She wanted him to comfort her and make the pain go away.

Natasha was not a codependent person, but if she had learned anything about being pulled away from the one person she saw daily, she missed him. She needed him. Of all the twisted ways the world got to her, it did one thing right: she could only tackle parenthood with Steve. There was no one else out there that made sense. He was patient with her, kind, safe….loving.

“I’m not really good at family stuff,” She admitted to James and Sarah out loud, not that they really were listening. “But you have the right father that can show you, like he showed me. So I know we’ll be okay. Just kind of bear with me though.”

The twins were busy, smiling at one another as they played. There had not been many shared smiles between the three of them and it was refreshing.

“We’re going to be okay,” Natasha said to herself with a smile as she watched her children continue to splash around.

—

Steve had long finished giving Sam as much detail as he knew about Natasha’s whereabouts and the events that happened by the time Natasha finally emerged back into the living room with two clean toddlers.

“This is going to take getting used to,” Sam chuckled at the sight of the Black Widow carrying two toddlers.

“They’re not going anywhere,” Natasha said, with a frisky tone. “So get used to it quickly.”

She placed James and Sarah down, but they stood by her feet, still unsure of how to accept Sam.

“The media is going to freak,” Sam realized out loud. “Does anyone else know?”

Both Steve and Natasha shook their heads.

“We’ve only been here for two full days and we went out once to get necessities,” Natasha explained. “I’m pretty sure we’re still in danger,” she admitted. “I ran away from a very determined group of people who wanted to use my children as experiments for perfecting the serum. We’re not safe out there.”

The room was quiet as the reality of how the nightmare was nowhere near over sunk in.

“I came here because I had not heard from you in a couple of days, Cap,” Sam noted. “And when we did hear from you this morning about that mission Tony brought up for Monday, you said you would not be able to join. So I’m sure the others will start wondering very soon on what’s going on.”

Natasha’s eyes quickly darted towards Steve at the news of a mission. He had not shared that with her and she looked at him for further explanation, but he remained quiet.

“I won’t say anything, but people are going to talk,” Sam stood up from the couch. “It’s good to see you again, Natasha.”

He walked over to Natasha to give her a hug and under any other circumstances, the action would not have been welcomed because reputations were always held, but today, she hugged back and told him she was glad to see him too.

“For the record,” Sam glanced back at Steve and then at Natasha. “I always knew you were doing it.”

Natasha scuffed playfully, her eyes rolling at him.

“Get out,” Steve ordered, his tone just as playful as Natasha’s.

Sam shook his head as he reached for the front door.

“Congrats on the bundle,” He added before heading out the door.

“Sam!” Steve called after him.

Sam peaked his head back in.

“The favor?” Steve reminded him.

“I will start getting what I can based on the details and locations you shared,” Sam nodded in reassurance.

Steve sent him a silent ‘ _thank you_ ’ before he closed the door behind him.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys :) Just wanted to thank you for reading my story and for all your kind comments. I try to reply to all of them--forgive me if I take a while though, I'm a little slow on catching up reading them. But I really appreciate all of it!
> 
> Sorry if you guys opened the previous chapter. Not sure how I managed to do it but it posted the wrong one. Ugh! Well, some of you already got what's coming for the next chapter then. Nothing too different but one part of what was posted I was kind of waiting to post until the next chapter because I wanted to change it for timeline purposes.

Natasha, James, and Sarah had been in his house for almost six days now and things were calm. None of the other Avengers had really bothered Steve or paid him any unexpected visit and he hoped they kept it that way. Plus, it was snowing now and no one wanted to deal with that. Natasha did finally call Clint and tell him everything--in which he demanded to come visit. But she told him not now, they were still getting acclimated and she just wanted the twins to really get to know their father--peacefully.

They had also felt slightly safe enough that Steve was able to leave the house for an hour or two here and there to run errands. Twins went through a lot of diapers and Steve also realized he did not have a lot of extra drawer space to offer, so he invested in a few of those, without having Natasha notice too much. He planned to slowly place drawers between the two bedrooms and hope she did not question them. The domestic life was still a touchy subject with her.

“We need to talk about beds,” Steve brought up the conversation that he had been having with himself since the first night they arrived in his house.

They were eating dinner. The twins were at their high chairs, which took time to get used to because the moment Steve pulled the strap to keep them in place, James panicked. It took cooing and Natasha’s reassurance to show both James and Sarah they were okay. Once the foods were placed on their little tables, they surrendered the fight against the high chairs and accepted the new item. 

Natasha raised her eyebrow at him.

“I can add beds in the spare room?” Steve suggested. “Or cribs?”

“You’re tired of us taking up your bed?” Natasha laughed.

“No,” Steve corrected. “But won’t they want their own beds?”

Natasha shrugged.

“I’m not sure,” She spoke honestly. “They have always slept glued together. Probably the only comfort they had in those labs.”

Steve grumbled at the image that came to mind.

“But we can try if you want,” Natasha added.

She had been a reserved person herself, but she knew Steve meant well. He wanted to give their children comfort and beyond just the basic necessities. She was thankful for that. It was also why parenthood did not sound too terrifying as long as it meant Steve was her partner in it too.

_Ugh, when did she become so dependent on him._

“And then we can discuss us,” Steve said sheepishly, picking at his plate.

Natasha saw that eventually coming--except she figured she had a little more time.

“You know, normally I’m the more demanding one,” She ignored the desire to argue with him and tell him they did not need to discuss ‘us’ anytime soon. “But okay.”

“Okay,” Steve repeated, raising his eyebrow at her.

The discussion would happen, soon, but right now, Steve just wanted to talk to her about what else she remembered about those villains. It was a topic he did not want to put pressure on Natasha, but he had to start plotting something soon. He needed to inform the team sooner than later that they had one hell of a mission to tackle and he would not go down without a fight. Not when his family was the main target.

“While we were in Turkey, I don’t think they were Turkish or at least not all of them,” Natasha noted. “They spoke Russian sometimes. There were four main members, and occasional random ones that came to run other types of testing. I was not tested as much as them,” She looked at the twins, who were busily smashing food into their mouths. “I was when I was pregnant, which is probably why I was put to sleep, a lot.”

“I’m going to find them and they’re going to suffer.”

“Steve,” Natasha shook her head. “I know you will, but not yet.”

She was begging him with her eyes. Begging him to just them be normal. To let James and Sarah get used to what their lives should be. And Steve understood. He wanted that more than anything, except actions needed to be taken too. No one would get away with what they did.

“Sam has been doing research for me,” Steve declared.

“I know,” Natasha had expected it and she was glad.

“We don’t have much aside from the location you told me where you were led, when you thought you were meeting Dr. Cho.”

“I don’t really have much to offer, I was kept in the dim,” Natasha felt ashamed she had no leads for them to go off, but it was the honest truth. 

“We’re going to need to go to the Tower soon, you know,” Steve pointed out. “They might bombard you with questions.”

Natasha nodded her head silently. She knew that too.

“I figured,” She shrugged, standing up to take her empty plate towards the sink. “But for now, you want to be on bath duty, _daddy_?” 

She was being playful again and it reassured Steve’s aching heart more than she probably knew.

Steve hardly was alone with the twins, but he could tell Natasha was trying to make it happen a lot more often lately, and he was perfectly fine with that--the twins may have other thoughts though. But chances had to be taken if he planned to be the father they needed--the father he wanted to be.

“Wish us luck then,” Steve stood up, approaching the well fed toddlers.

Natasha took their plates away while Steve began to unstrap James and then Sarah. They babbled, but gave no signs of resentment as Steve carried them.

_Off to a good start._

“Their pajamas should be on the chair,” Natasha called out after him as he disappeared into the hallway.

\--

While the water poured into the tub, Steve got them ready. Food was all over their clothing, faces, and hands. But he was just glad they were being toddlers for once.

“Dada,” It was a squeal Steve could listen to forever.

Sarah was the vocal one when it came to the two and she easily mimicked words that were said around her. Although James was quick to follow along.

Steve slowly took off James’ shirt and he wanted to gasp at the marks he saw on the little boy’s upper arms and sides. There were fading scars and Steve could just imagine how raw and painful they were months ago.

He shook off the sudden heat that began to boil and continued to get both of them ready for their baths. They were happy and excited to climb into the tub, which was another positive change in the household. Anything that had them happy was making things bearable.

So he did his best to disregard the fading scars on their tiny bodies and focused on their glee. People always told him to enjoy the quiet times because as an Avenger, there would not be much of it. He considered this week to have been one of those quiet times and it made him question his job--his duty.

He is a father now and the world is still of importance, but he had a different mindset. He wondered if Natasha would ever get back out there; to fight battles and take on missions. His guess was no. She was great at what she did and she had a craving for those missions--it was all she knew, but now, things were different. Steve expected her lay low and focus on James and Sarah. She had shown great determination towards them and he could not see her letting that go to risk her life. She was an orphan herself, the last thing she would want was for her children to become orphans.

Yet, where did Captain America fall into that? Did he get a say on backing out?

“Dada!” James’ voice echoed as he pointed towards the counter. “Duck!” He wanted the rubber duck and Steve felt bad he forgot all about the water toys he had gotten them.

“Here you go,” He handed both James and Sarah all the squishable floating water toys.

“Ball,” Sarah grabbed the purple ball and bounced it into the water.

They were happy and seemed healthy, but Steve still wanted them to be checked out by a doctor just to be sure. Who knows what trauma their bodies had to endure.

“Wawar,” Sarah splashed again, her eyes glistening as the water hit her gently.

“Yeah, water,” Steve playfully splashed her little arm, which caused her to giggle and wait for more.

James joined in the water splash with his sister and the scene in front of him made Steve feel at ease. Since the day they arrived, he was worried about them. Worried on where he stood in their lives. Natasha had assured him she talked about him and he could tell they were aware. They were well informed of whose house they were going into and they knew the meaning of his presence. They trusted him enough to be around and not flinch when he touched them. And he was thankful that Natasha was considerate. His heart would be breaking if his own children were afraid of him.

Unsure of what happened, as Steve was lost in his thoughts, but Sarah cried. She was rubbing her finger and Steve guessed she may have poked the toy too hard and it caused friction on her pruny little finger.

His first instinct was to grab her, pulling her into his lap as she cried and held out her tiny finger. He took her hand and gave it a reassuring kiss, which silenced her quickly. Steve smiled at her and let her hand down. But she lifted it again towards his lips. He took it that she wanted another kiss, which he obliged. Sarah repeated her actions over and over, a smile forming with each kiss her small hand received.

“Better?” Steve finally asked once she kept her hand down.

She nodded and he placed her back into the tub with James. Before Steve could move, she lifted her hand up to him—the hand that was not injured and Steve laughed. He gave the hand a kiss and Sarah squealed in delight. Then it was James’ turn to follow his sister. He lifted his hand towards Steve, which he kissed. And their game went on for a while, both toddlers laughing in delight at their new found favorite comfort.

\--

“Daddy bath time, check,” Steve announced as he held two freshly cleaned and changed toddlers.

He grinned proudly at their well-time spent together. And Natasha smiled back at him in return. 

“Hi guys,” Natasha greeted cheerfully. “Did you have fun?”

Both James and Sarah wiggled with delight in Steve’s arms—he had to actually tighten his grip on them or they would have fallen. They were beginning to be very squirmy toddlers. He set them down and surprisingly, they stayed still.

“We had fun, right?” Steve bent down to ask them.

“Ya!” James bounced in his spot.

“High five?” Steve held both his hands up for them.

The both high-fived him eagerly and their giggles could light up any room. 

“Good job, _Soldier_ ,” Natasha smirked. “Now you get to ease them down for bedtime. My turn to get clean.”

She kneeled down to be leveled with James and Sarah, giving them each goodnight kisses, assuming Steve would have them asleep when she gets done with her shower. 

“Did you want a kiss too?” Natasha sent him a smug look.

Steve blushed at her offer, which earned him a kiss on the cheek.

“Fi-fi?” Sarah held out her little hand at her mother.

Natasha laughed before giving the toddler a high-five, in which James did the same and held out his hand to earn his high-five.

Steve looked at the two hyped-up toddlers in front of him as Natasha stood up and made her way to the bathroom. Usually it Natasha who snuggled them to bed, but he was more than willing to take on the challenge.  
  



	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter for today! Because I was irritated with the mess up post and I wanted to get this posted because I may be very occupied tomorrow and the following day. Excuse my typos/mistakes because this was slightly rushed but I still hope you enjoy it!
> 
> Thanks again :)

“Morning old man,” Natasha sing-sang from the dining table. “I made breakfast.”

Steve looked at the counter to see waffles, eggs, and bacon. She clearly had been busy.

“I thought children were usually morning people?” Steve ran his fingers through his messy bed head.

He had woken up next to two little snorers and Natasha’s side empty. He’s been waking up later than usual and it very unlike him, especially since he went to bed earlier than Natasha. Which got him wondering if she ever really slept. He recalled her getting in the shower as he laid with the twins. He told them a made up story because he had no books to read to them—something he needed to invest in along with those cribs or beds. And hopefully the story worked on them, because clearly it worked on him. When he woke up, James and Sarah were still deep in their sleep and it was almost eight in the morning.

“I think I’ve been a bad mom and failing to let them take naps,” Natasha realized. “Makes sense that they sleep like 14 hours, but I should have them nap?”

Steve shrugged. He was just as new to the whole thing.

“But maybe if you let me get those little toddler bed things, they’ll want to nap,” He tried.

She rolled her eyes.

“Aren’t we invading too much?” She asked, her tone serious. “We kind of moved in without permission.”

“I had no plans on kicking you out,” Steve defended.

“So we’re just going to all live here and fall into this domestic life?”

“This is why the ‘us’ talk should come up,” Steve pointed out.

Natasha sighed.

_She hated confrontation._

“I don’t think attempting an _‘us’_ because we share children is the way to do it,” She expressed.

“That statement would only be fitting if,” Steve paused to meet her nervous eyes. “If the feelings were not there prior to the kids. But they were, on my end anyway.”

He was not one to make conversations, especially when it came to emotions. And talking to women were never his thing anyway--the serum did not enhance his ego, much to his dismay. But it was Natasha and she had been in his life for a long time, this talk needed to happen. Courageous Steve needed to step up.

“I have a lot of issues,” Natasha indicated.

Steve amusingly rolled his eyes at her. This was courageous Steve finally coming out.

“I know, Nat.”

She shot him her signature glare.

“You know I find it hard to trust people,” She continued. “That goes for my life and for my emotional being. I don’t know how to let someone love me, or if I can even love back. I don’t know how.”

“You trust me to save your life, right?” Steve asked.

She nodded. “You know I do.”

“And you trust me to protect James and Sarah?”

She nodded again.

“You trust me to never break their hearts?”

“Yes.”

“Then trust me to never break yours,” It was a statement, not a question. “I have no intentions of doing that.”

Natasha nodded. She _knew_ all of that. She knew him. She knew him so well. But she was also a reserved person who still hung onto that one little bit of emotional disconnect.

“We can figure it out slowly,” Steve offered trying to ease the tension.

She stared at him. And as her eyes bore into his, all she could think about was how insane her life had become. Insane in a good and shocking way.

She shared children with him. Captain America was asking her to give a relationship with him a try and she was not leaning towards a no. She was actually trying to fight herself from saying yes. Because she was not ready. She did not know how to be someone’s girlfriend—those domestic lifestyle type of things were not really taught in the Red Room.

But then she thought about Tony and Pepper. They found love and managed to work it out. If Pepper was willing to put up with his sarcasm and egotistic ways, she could let herself love Steve—who was sweet, brave, a bit of an oddball, kind, and ridiculously handsome. Vision and Wanda held a strong relationship. Clint and Laura were able to find love and raise a family together. So why could she not give it a go? Steve is such an important person to her and his cheesy smile always made her just want to—

“Kiss me,” Natasha blurted.

“What?”

“Kiss me,” She repeated.

Steve obliged, because he had been dying to do just that days ago.

She tasted like he remembered and god he had missed her so much. The way her lips felt against—it had been too long, far too long.

A soft moan escaped from Natasha’s mouth and Steve chose that moment to pull away. He had to stop them before he showed her exactly how much he missed her.

“You brush your teeth before breakfast?” Natasha asked when they pulled apart.

“I hardly ever eat breakfast. Normally I get up, brush my teeth, and go for a run. Something you never knew because I always woke up like two hours before you,” Steve pointed out.

“Kiss me again,” She ordered.

Steve Rogers was not a perfect human. He made mistakes and made wrong choices like any other person. Sometimes he took risks that be probably should not have.

“God I’ve missed you,” Steve mumbled in between kisses.

So when Natasha wrapped her legs around him after he just declared they would take it slow, he did not fight her. Instead he pulled her closer and they ended up on the couch—-because the only bed in the house was occupied by their twins.

To hell with slow, they already had children anyway.

\--

“Hi!” A tiny slap hit Steve’s face.

“Hi!” Another one came, followed by a poke.

And then another poke.

_What the?_

Steve opened his eyes to be greeted by two pairs of wide-eyes, literally an inch away from his face.

“Hi,” Steve mumbled softly, his eyes adjusting to the brightness of the living room.

He realized Natasha was laying on him when he tried to stand himself up and weight stopped him. Which then caused his eyes to grow wide as it sunk in that James and Sarah were literally climbing all over their mother’s sleeping body.

“Oh god,” Steve pulled his arms out from under the blanket and lifted James off of Natasha first.

And then Sarah.

They frowned at him and he felt bad, but once he smiled at them and they returned in, he knew he was forgiven for quickly moving them.

“Morning,” Natasha grumbled as she lifted herself off of Steve’s body. “Oh,” She noted, remembering why they were naked on the couch.

“Mama!” A small voice cheered as the blanket revealed her messy head to the twins.

“Hey guys,” She flashed them a smile before sitting up and wrapping the sheet around her body. “Breakfast?”

The two little heads nodded, skipping their way to the kitchen--they knew the word breakfast fairly well.

“I need my clothes,” Natasha stared at where her clothes were scattered on the floor.

Steve reached down to get them for her and she paused when he handed them to her.

“Morning, _Captain_ ,” Her voice was husky, before she leaned in and gave him a kiss on the lips.

“Morning,” Steve was sure he was blushing--which was ridiculous because they had been in this situation more than a handful of times before.

Natasha threw on her clothes fairly quickly and she was in the kitchen talking to James and Sarah faster than Steve could get his mind together.

“Well the waffles are cold now,” He could hear Natasha going through the cabinets. “You can blame daddy though,” She continued.

Steve just shook his head in humor, he knew she was talking loudly for him to hear.

“I woke up and made it for you, fresh and warm,” Her voice was playful. “But then he distracted me and wore me out.”

“Nat!” He grunted at her willingness to share information.

They were toddlers.

“They don’t know what I’m talking about,” Natasha protested. “Do you?”

Steve could hear James and Sarah giggle as Natasha led them towards the table.

“Up!” Sarah ordered, standing by the high chair she had declared hers.

“Hold on, missy,” Natasha sat their plate of waffles down on their high chairs.

Steve was glad they were adjusting well. He recalled the first time he tried to get them in those high chairs and they fought against the strap. But now, they knew they were home. They understood the purpose of that chair--it was the chair that held their favorite meals--like warm waffles and sticky pancakes.

“I know we’re playing it safe,” Steve walked towards the table after he got dressed. “But we could take them out?”

He felt bad. The twins must have cabin fever, even if they did not show it. Maybe they could just go somewhere for a little bit. There was still snow on the ground but it had stopped falling. A stroll around a park would be doable, if Natasha allowed it.

“Okay,” She nodded. “It’s the middle of the week, it’s early. Normal people work, we should not be bothered too much.”

Steve was glad at her response. He wanted to get them out of the house. He had done small errands here and there, but he figured even Natasha must want to do something. She had been cooped up in the house 24/7, which was something she was not known to do before. They were always busy; there were missions to tend, trainings to be done, and back then, they could freely make their way around the city, doing whatever they wanted.

Of course the media talked. He was Captain America after all. He was known and highly publicized. So the rumors were always there. The cameras were always flashing when they were spotted, but it came with the lifestyle. And Sam was right, the media is going to freak after no sight of the Black Widow for nearly two years and then she suddenly makes her appearance with twins and Captain America by her side?

They were going to make headlines, which was nothing new. But James and Sarah would be a new topic and Steve wanted to protect them from the public. He wanted to hide them if he could, keep them away from the media. Only that would be impossible. Being their father meant they had to unfortunately pay the price of being wanted, seen, and broadcasted.

“I’ll get them ready after they eat,” Natasha spoke. “They need to get out, you’re right,” Natasha’s voice was comforting as Steve felt the hesitation of actually going out now.

“But we have to consider that it comes with a price,” He reminded her.

“I know,” She said. “The public knowing is not my fear,” She pointed out. “It’s the wrong people knowing where we are.”

And Steve knew that. They had been inside for the most part, but he concluded no one knew where Natasha was. Those villains had probably not tried to find them or they had no leads so far, being outside meant they were opening doors to them and all Steve could think about was safety. But also sanity.

“I’m going to tell Sam where we’re going,” He decided out loud. “I need an extra pair of eyes on you three.”

Natasha did not protest. She understood his intentions.

“Eat up kiddos,” She beamed at James and Sarah. “We’re going out for play time.”

James and Sarah made happy noises as they dug into their waffles.

\--

Just as Natasha had figured, the park was empty. Snow had been pushed to the side, making the path clear for their stroll. It was peaceful and it would have been much more enjoyable if they had not to watch their backs. At least James and Sarah were unaware of the negativities flowing through their parents’ minds.

“Not too cold,” Steve spoke.

“Nope,” Natasha agreed as she wrapped her arms around his right arm.

The twins were in their stroller, bundled up in their winter wear. They made noises and pointed here and there to their surroundings. Steve thought about how nice the moment was. They looked like a family--they were a family--but in that brief occasion, everything seemed normal. It would most likely be rare that they get to be normal in the future because their lives were far from _normal_.

“How do Clint and Laura live normal lives?” Steve asked.

Natasha looked up at him, her arms still wrapped around his.

“Clint keeps mission to a minimum,” She answered. “It’s why he does not take too much risks. He says that his family is priority, ever since Cooper was born.”

Silence took over as they continued to walk. There had been no other company in the park, aside from a couple of squirrels that cross their path, which captivated both James’ and Sarah’s attention.

“Do you think I’ll get to hold off on missions?” Steve asked Natasha.

“I already know you’ve been saying no to them since I came back,” She called him out. “You hold a name out there Steve, you have duties to take on.”

“But this is more important to me,” Steve admitted. “They’re my priority. All three of you are. I can’t risk them being fatherless.”

Natasha wanted to tell him she did not want to do this alone either. She really could not see herself being strong enough in that aspect.

“I don’t think the world can be without you yet,” Her voice was soft and sadness was there, but she meant well. “I understand though,” She added. “I miss getting up and just going off into new missions, I do. It was the only lifestyle I knew. But I can’t leave them.”

Steve’s eyes peaked over the stroller. All he could see were James’ and Sarah’s matching beanies and their little arms hitting the table of their stroller as they eagerly pointed out things.

“You don’t have to make any sudden decisions,” Natasha went on. “Even though I know you’ve been backing out of things.”

“Can’t hide anything from you, can I?” Steve snickered.

“Nope,” Natasha let go of her grip on his arm and threw it around her shoulder so she could snuggle into his warmth. “Not under my watch, _Captain_.”


	7. Chapter 7

It was going to happen eventually and today was the day. Natasha was looking forward to seeing them, she really was. They had become her family and she missed them. As irritating and clashing some of their personalities were, they were important to her. 

What she was not looking forward to was being viewed as the victim. She already knew they were going to cater to her and be sympathetic, like how Sam had reacted when he saw her. It would be the expected reaction, given the circumstances. But Natasha did not want that. She did not want to be seen as weak, as someone who needed help—even though she did. It was just that the  _ Black Widow _ did not need to be saved and she wanted to keep proving that. Even though she knew she needed them and they were going to be there for her.

So she took a deep breath as they pulled up into the parking garage of the Tower. She looked back at the twins, safely buckled in their carseats. They looked so normal now. It had only been about nine days since they showed up at Steve’s house and there had been drastic changes in their personalities. It seemed that they realized they could finally be themselves and they would not be punished. So they smiled more these days. They explored, touched things they probably should not, and ran their little legs into every room of the house. They were happy and it was everything to her.

“Hi mama,” James happily greeted her when he caught her looking back.

Natasha could easily melt. Who knew two tiny humans could steal her heart. They were so perfect, she was beyond in love. She was adamant on making it well known that is not a soft person, but there was just something about a Rogers that dug into her weaknesses and she was not one bit mad.

She was only mad at those bastards who harmed her precious babies and she was going to get them.  _ Oh she was going to show them that they messed with the wrong woman. _

“Hi James!” She mimicked his cheerful tone.

His smile, voice, and face was contagious.  _ Perfection _ . She was bias and she did not care. He was her little boy and she already knew she would be  _ that _ mother-in-law.

“They’re going to steal everyone’s hearts in there,” Steve said as he parked the car. “Hopefully it’s not too much to handle.”

Natasha just stayed silent. She was mentally preparing herself for the attention and how the twins would take in the environment that consisted of unfamiliar faces.

Steve was first to get out of the car and unbuckle Sarah out of her seat. The toddler squealed excitedly, clapping her little hands as she was free from the confined seat.

“Dada,” she clung onto Steve eagerly.

Natasha had taken the time to get James out. It was so much easier these days when she had an extra pair of hands to help her. She was unsure of how she managed to hold two babies at once and run for it.

Steve had informed the team about Natasha being back—but he withheld further information. He told them he would bring her by today and that was that. If Sam was able to keep the news to himself, then none of them would be expecting two tiny guests in tow.

Steve insisted he carry both kids as everyone was going to hug Natasha, which only made her hold onto James tighter. If her baby boy was going to protect her from all the emotional physical contact, she would gladly take that. But Steve won and James was in his arms by them time they reached their designated floor.

“Ready?” He asked.

“No,” Natasha closed her eyes and turned to face him.

She looked at her smiling twins and planted them each a kiss on the cheek.

“You’re safe here too, okay?” She felt the need to reassure them just in case.

“Popar, popar!” James clapped.

Steve laughed.

“No buddy, you already ate your poptart,” He kissed his reddish hair.

Natasha looked up at Steve and reached up for a kiss. She was allowed to do this now and she would probably take advantage of it.

“They’re going to be happy to see you,” Steve assured her as she broke the lingering kiss.

Natasha nodded.

It was Wanda that approached them first.

“Nat!” She yelled excitedly, enveloping Natasha into a literally breathtaking tight hug. “You’re here! You’re back!” She swung them side to side, not letting her grip go on Natasha.

“Let her breath!” Tony rolled his eyes. “Nice to see you, Red,” he added in his most sincere Stark ways.

“Oh,” Wanda let out as she caught a glance at Steve behind Natasha. “Babies! There are babies?”

She dashed past Natasha and to Steve.

James and Sarah gripped their little fists into Steve’s shoulders, but they remained neutral. Steve had noticed their conclusion with people usually was based off of their mother’s reaction. If she was friendly with the person, the twins did not fear too much—but they still did not easily let strangers invade their personal space.

“Steve?” Wanda questioned, waiting for explanation as to why he was holding toddlers. “Where did you get them?”

“Well—“ he bounced the toddlers in his arms, causing them to giggle, regardless of all the strange faces eyeing them.

“Holy shit you got her pregnant,” Tony uttered as he walked towards Steve and Wanda to examine the toddlers. “Under my roof!”

Natasha rolled her eyes. Typical Tony Stark.

“You’re parents!” Wanda exclaimed. “Twins?”

Natasha nodded.

“Like Pierto and I,” Wanda’s voice was soft at the thought of her brother.

She studied them as Steve glanced back and forth between the two, checking to make sure they were not overwhelmed.

“Oh they’re so happy,” she spoke, not realizing she had been stepping into their minds.

She was just studying them, but the aurora they gave off was contagious. They were happy, content in the protection of their father’s arms. And Wanda felt the joy for them, but it ached thinking about her brother.

“Where’s Vision? Rhodey?” Natasha questioned, realizing it was just Wanda, Tony, and Sam in the common room.

“They’re on some training session with Bruce. They’ll be back later tonight,” Wanda explained.

—-

“I just hope they forgot about everything by now,” Natasha admitted. “I mean they are young, so I want to say their memories are fading.”

“They are,” Wanda reassured her. “They don’t really have any memories of it. Maybe just some triggered actions or words,” She elaborated. “But all I got was their curiosity to be somewhere new.”

“I hope so,” Natasha sighed.

“They understand love and security,” Wanda continued, knowing Natasha could use some reassurance. “You and Steve have provided that, they know what your roles are in their lives and they are happy, they feel very loved,” she smiled. “You should be very happy Nat.”

“I am,” She nodded. “I really am. They have given me a new purpose as an actual human, not just a fighting machine,” the words poured out and even Natasha was unsure if she had realized that prior to talking with Wanda. “I’m still terrified at failing them, but I have Steve and he’s,” She paused, trying to define him out loud without sounding desperate. “He’s—-“

“I know,” Wanada decided it would be difficult for her to admit out loud right now just how much Steve means to her, so she saved her the battle.

“Thank you,” Natasha smiled. “I never had a family until you guys,” it was extra information she did not have to share, but Wanda was sparing her emotions like a true sister.

“And now you have your own family too,” The Scarlet Witch added.

“You ready to be an aunt?” Natasha smirked, looking from Wanda and then to the two little ones playing on the rug.

Wanda let out a wide grin.

“James, Sarah” Natasha called out to her toddlers.

They both looked up, holding a toy in each hand--that had thankfully kept them pretty occupied. Natasha noticed anything with noises, flashing lights-- _ basically something very annoying _ \--worked out fine when it came to keeping toddlers busy.

“Want to come say hi to your Aunt Wanda?” She asked them, her tone much more animated than Wanda has ever heard.

Whether Natasha would admit it or not, she really did take on motherhood well.

They looked at each other, probably not processing what their mother was talking about, but they walked over to her open arms anyway.

“Hi,” Wanda smiled at them.

She was not around children much, none of them were. Although, Wanda felt a connection with the twins because she felt for them. She knew what their bond would be for the years to come. In many ways, even if she did not really know them, it reminded her of how she and Pierto were. They were each other’s best friend from the start and she believed they still would be today, if he was still around.

Natasha held both James’ and Sarah’s hand out to touch Wanda’s waiting hand. It was a slow gesture and Wanda could tell the twins were hesitant at the new contact. They looked up to their mom for reassurance and when she smiled at their questioning looks, their demeanor changed. James lifted his hand to give Wanda a little high-five and Sarah followed after.

“Steve taught them that,” Natasha laughed.

“They’re so beautiful, Nat,” Wanda said warmly. “I’m really happy for you and Steve.”

Wanda meant every word as she had always looked up to Natasha in more ways than the Black Widow probably noticed. But Natasha being a mother had clearly brought out her relaxed side and it was refreshing given how she had disappeared and the questions were never answered. The worry on everyone’s faces still lingered for months—even if it was safer to assume Natasha fled on her own. Except her suite gave no indication she would not return from her errands that day.

“I’m glad you’re back,” Wanda smiled softly.

“Glad to be back too,” Natasha returned the smile. “But I’m not sure I’ll be back with the team in that sense.”

It was the first time Natasha truly admitted it, but she could not see herself fighting out there when James and Sarah needed her. Her children would not become orphans.

“I don’t think anyone expects you to,” It as an honest observation on Wanda’s end, but Natasha felt a huge sigh of relief wash over her when she heard the words actually being said out loud.

—-

“We’re going to Kahta, Turkey,” Tony announced.

“I’m going,” Natasha chimed in as the men walked in.

“No,” Steve shot her a look.

“I’m your biggest indicator,” Natasha argued.

“And also the biggest target,” Steve pointed out. “You’ll stay here at the Tower with extreme security for James and Sarah as well.”

“Steve,” She spoke again, setting her tone in place. “I need to go with you.”

“She’s right Cap,” Tony put a hand on Steve’s shoulder. “She can lead us to them.”

Steve groan. It made sense, but it also made sense to keep her safe with the children.

“James—-the Bucky James and T'Challa will meet us there,” Sam informed.

“Shall I inform Pepper that is she on baby duty?” Tony smiled cheesily.

“They have not been away from me since we got out. I don’t know if they can handle it,” Natasha felt a sting in her heart at the idea of leaving them.

Tony rolled his eyes in annoyance.

“I’m always playing fairy godmother,” He groaned. “Shall I tell Pepper to book a 5-star secured resort in Turkey near Kahta and that is she will be on baby duty while there?”

“Yes,” Natasha sent him her signature smile.

“Get agent Hill as well,” Steve ordered. “I need her to have backup prepared.”

“Alright amigos, pack your bags. We meet back here first thing tomorrow to board the jet,” Tony clapped his hands. “So good to have the team back.”

 


	8. Chapter 8

Tomorrow was another dreading day for Natasha, except a lot worse than having to face the comforting faces of those who care about you. She may finally come face to face with the villains who harmed her and mainly James and Sarah. She was not sure how she could keep calm upon seeing them.

Steve was just as aggravated. He was not up for Natasha or the kids going. They would easier targets there. His mind wanted to blow up and fight Natasha on her stubborn ways, but he knew better.

She was busily moving around in the kitchen, either trying to distract herself from what is to come soon or she really just wanted to get cooking going.

“How come we ate out almost daily before?” Steve questioned. “You’re a great cook.”

Natasha shrugged.

“Honestly, I never really had time to cook. I enjoyed doing it here and there but after not really having one place to live, I stopped. But I still read a lot and that means browsing cookbooks,” She explained.

They moved around the kitchen, prepping for the spaghetti Natasha insisted she wanted to make, which meant Steve had to run to the store and try to get all the ingredients she demanded.

“You know, Sarah actually reminds me a lot of you,” Steve brought.

“How so?” She asked.

“She’s very driven and takes risks more,” Steve explained. “She just reminds me a lot of you.”

Natasha smiled.

There was nothing wrong with that. She had never really imagined children of her own, but having a daughter was nice. Maybe one day she could get her into ballet, something that was her passion at one point in the past.

“They both remind me of you,” Steve noted.

“Funny, they remind me of _you_ ,” Natasha spat back with a grin.

Steve held her eyes for a moment. He wanted to believe she was a lot happier than she was the night she showed up at his house. She seemed to smile more and a little part of him wants to take credit for it.

“Hey,” He spoke, reaching out for her hands.

“Yeah?” Natasha raised her eyebrow at him in question as she let him take both her hands.

“You’re staying right?” Steve asked, sounding like a shy little boy.

Natasha gave him a questioning look.

“Unless you’re kicking me out, _Captain_ ,” She spoke. “I was hoping to make this home.”

“Good,” Steve smiled, he just needed confirmation from her. “I think we should look for a bigger house.”

“Steve,” Natasha groaned.

It was so like him to go all out. She was him, they would be able to settle there and work on all of their relationships together. The house was decent and she never needed much—-especially when she lived through a suitcase most of her life.

“Uh oh,” James’ voice filled the living room.

“Uh oh,” followed Sarah’s voice.

Both Steve and Natasha exchanged looks before moving to check the commotion.

“Oh that's disgusting,” Natasha gagged unintentionally. “Get em’ soldier,” She patted Steve’s back. “I’m going to play the lady and continue making dinner.”

Steve groaned.

James had taken off his very full diaper and the evidence was all over the living room carpet. Luckily Sarah kept her distance and just pointed at her brother. At least one child was clean.

“Okay missy, if you’re clean, you get to be on kitchen duty with mama,” Natasha walked over towards their daughter and inspected her diaper before giving the okay. “Yeah, I’ll take this one.”

“Yeah this is pretty gross,” Steve held his breath as he picked James up to take him to the bathroom.

He would deal with the stinky mess on the carpet later.

\--

For once, Steve was the first one awake. It was three in the morning and it was still dark out. The little night light in the room (that took getting used to) was bright enough for Steve to look around and soak in the quiet. He was used to the quiet, he had been living alone for a while. Even when he lived full time in his suite at the Tower, it was quiet when he closed the door and shut everyone out for the night. Of course, Natasha would barge in and she would want to talk—but not really talk as she mainly sat there, ate, and kept to herself. The early times of their friendship, Steve figured she just liked having someone else in the room. Maybe she was not a fan of being alone.

As their relationship grew, he learned that she just found it comforting to be around him, but normally, she was alone and she always has been. She also joked it was to keep him out of trouble—but Steve knew better. He ended up with her over a lot at the end of the day and he never complained. She was not a bad company, she primarily sat on his couch and read and she would occasionally make comments to him, but for the most part, Steve still got his peace and quiet.

Today was going to be a rough day and he knew he has probably seen worse and encountered the worst, but this time his motives were different. He was out to get the people who harmed his children and their mother. This time, he was going in with a whole lot more anger than he ever has before—-because this one was aching straight to the heart and he was not so sure he could be a proper leader this time around.

Sarah stirred beside him. She rolled her sleepy body over so that her back was now against her brother’s back and she faced Steve. She was angelic. Steve fell in love with the both of them quickly, it took no effort to do so. But he was really drawn to her—maybe it was the whole father-daughter thing he never understood because he only grew up with a mother and never had a sister to witness a relationship like that before.

Plus, the idea of a daughter also took him by complete surprise. If he had to think about having a child, he assumed a boy. He was one and he assumed he would know how to raise one based on that. A daughter sounded scary. First and foremost, he was terrible with girls—- _how was he supposed to raise one?_

But it took less than half a second for Steve to look into her eyes and knew he was never going to let her go. He knew she would grow up to be a strong woman, much like her mother and she will most likely drive him crazy, like her mother. Except he hopes he can always protect her so she never had to fight. He would gladly do all the fighting for her.

Steve took in her little hand that was clutched in a light fist. She was so tiny compared to him, his only regret was not being there for when they were born. He knew Natasha probably felt worst. She was there physically, but it was all taken away from her.

Today was going to be a battle for his family.

Natasha moved slowly in her side of the bed, turning over so that she faced James, her eyes still closed and her face soft in the dimmed room.

Steve could not help but wonder when he would get to hold her in her sleep again. He laughed at the thought of how many times they had shared his bed since Natasha showed up and not once has he slept next to her. It was a twist in their lives, the toddlers took over the spot between them and it was not a bad change. But Steve still wanted to reach over and brush the strand of hair that had fallen over the face. She was practically on the edge of the bed and Steve cursed himself for not getting a larger bed yet.

“You up?” Natasha’s voice nearly startled him.

She must have felt his eyes on her for a while now.

“Yeah,” He let out. “It’s 3am, go back to sleep.”

Natasha opened her eyes. She looked at Steve and then at James, who had his foot pushing against her stomach.

“He moves so much in his sleep,” She commented. “I don’t know how Sarah deals with it.”

Steve had to chuckle at that. Sarah was hardly a still sleeper. He felt her move around a lot. Sometimes he woke up to both her feet on his face and some her whole body would be on him or kicking him.

“Well I’m awake,” Natasha stood up. “Should we let them tumble all over the bed together and take on the couch?” She winked at him.

Steve just laughed at her remark but followed her up anyway. He saw her drag a couple of blankets from the chair that ended up with a lot of things these days. He remembered that chair used to always be empty and untouched. Nowadays, it consisted of whatever outfit the twins would be wearing for the day or the pajamas they would wear tonight. And there would be extra blankets because James and Sarah had the tendency to drag those around the house.

They flopped on the couch, the room still dark.

Natasha waited for him to sit down before moving to crawl onto him. He always felt warm and she loved that about him.

“Tony said someone leaked pictures of us last night,” Steve brought up, even though he had a feeling she was already informed.

She just nodded, her head brushing against his chin with each movement.

“Expected it,” She admitted.

They both did. It was just another headache to add to the mess.

“They’re all wondering where you’ve been,” Steve pulled her close. “And why I’m holding babies.”

“Are you going to talk to the press?” Natasha asked.

“It’ll come up eventually.”

They sat in silence for a long while, soaking in the darkness and quietness. In just a mere few hours, they would be venturing off to the unknown.

“What are you thinking of?” Steve asked, hoping to ease Natasha’s mind.

“How no one was surprised to find out I have twins with you,” She spoke, her answer surprising Steve.

_He was not expecting that to be on her mind._

“ _What?_ ”

“We were that obvious?” She questioned. “I mean no one asked questions, they all just knew you’re their father.”

“And you’re concerned about that?” A puzzled look came across Steve’s face.

“I just thought there would be more questions,” She shrugged. “Did they know we were sleeping together all this time? Did you tell them?”

“What?! No!” Steve exclaimed. “I would never freely share that information,” He defended. “They probably just figured, we spent a lot of time together. And you stayed in my room pretty much every night.”

Natasha pressed her lips together, letting Steve’s words sink in.

“They probably never did it to you because you would kill them, but they _always_ questioned me,” Steve informed her. “Every single day.”

“You never told me that,” She sent him a frown, pulling away from his warmth to face him.

“Maybe because I didn’t want you to freak?” He raised his eyebrow at her.

“I don’t freak,” She smirked.

“Or maybe I didn’t want you to think everyone was onto us and then you stop coming into my room,” Steve offered his reasoning.

Natasha seemed to have considered his words as she nodded and slunk back into his arms.

“How did they tease you?” She asked curiously.

Steve rolled her eyes at her knack for always wanting the strangest information.

“However they could,” He answered. “I think Wanda knew the truth because she would just give me looks whenever I have anything to say that linked your name. Tony always made a point to tell me goodnight and good morning in _that_ tone.”

Natasha let out a laugh.

“ _And_ ,” Steve dragged the word to state his point. “You left marks, which had _everyone_ , including Sam, questioning me at the gym locker.” He lowered his head as Natasha took the moment to tilt hers, giving him access to her neck.

He placed a gentle kiss on her exposed skin before she let out a soft moan.

“Now I’m actually offended that no one bothered to question me.” Her voice was playful as she pressed her body even closer to Steve’s.

“They knew better, you’re scary. I’m easier to tease and the marks were very obvious.” Steve felt himself blush at his own statement. “Neck, shoulders, scratches down my back…”

Natasha turned to face him, a crooked smile on her face.

“Well,” Her flirty smile grew. “I had to mark _my_ territory."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone :) Just a filler chapter, but it was needed before everyone's reunion in the next chapter!


	9. Chapter 9

Everyone was already in the Quinjet by the time Natasha walked up with suitcases and Steve following behind, holding a car seat with sleeping toddlers in each hand.

“I have seen some weird shit,” Tony began. “But baby car seats in this jet tops them all.”

“I think Captain America carrying car seats with children in them and walking up the jet would make a great cover page,” Sam noted.

Natasha smirked. It was _sexy_. But maybe that was because those were  _ her children _ and  _ her man _ in his dark uniform walking up.

“Did you sedate them or are they just really deep sleepers?” Sam questioned, noticing the twins had not stirred in their car seats.

“They’re deep sleepers these days,” Natasha answered, securing the car seats so the twins would not be flying all over the jet incase their pilot (Sam) decided to give them all whiplashes.

“Oh I cannot wait to officially meet them!” Pepper launched out from one of the seats and gave Natasha a welcoming hug. “So glad you’re back!”

“Good job Red,” Tony whispered as Natasha walked past him.

She sent him a questioning look.

“Maybe she’ll want a baby now,” His egotistic grin was proudly showing.

“I don’t know if you can handle it, Stark,” Steve joined in as he stood by Natasha. “I mean last night James took out his diaper and it was—“

“There was shit everywhere,” Natasha interrupted. “Literal _shit_ show.”

Tony’s face fell into disgust as Steve motioned Natasha to sit.

—

“Pit stop!” Sam announced as they headed towards a field.

Natasha’s eyes grew wide. She could recognize Clint and Laura’s house anywhere. No one had informed her that Clint would be joining them.

Once the jet came to a stop and the door opened, Laura was already running inside.

“Natasha!” She called out. “Let me see them!”

Clint ran after her, shaking his head at his wife’s eagerness.

“They’re asleep,” Natasha explained, hugging Laura and then Clint.

“God woman,” Clint scuffed. “You get yourself into some crazy shit.”

“But I made these cuties,” Natasha pointed at the sleeping toddlers secured in their seats. “That’s James and Sarah.”

“Never thought I’d see babies in this jet,” Clint laughed as he and Laure got closer towards the twins.

“Oh Nat,” Laura gushed in awe. “They are so cute. Oh the kids are going to be so excited to meet their new cousins!”

It was still dawn, which Natasha assumed Laura and Clint’s children were still asleep. She wished they were awake so they could meet their new cousin, but they will have to arrange that for next time.

“Alright, I know you’re in a rush. You guys be safe,” Laura spoke, mainly attending to her husband’s jacket. “And come back in one piece.”

“We’ll come by soon so the kids can all meet their baby cousins,” Natasha said, her tone filled with warmth.

The smile remained on Natasha’s face, but she could not help notice how foreign it all sounded. Never in a million years had she expected utter a sentence like that.

Laura nodded. “You two are good right?” She asked, motioning to Steve and Natasha. “You got the emotions out so Natasha here can stop telling me you’re just friends...with benefits?”

Steve felt himself blush. He should have known Clint and Laura were pretty informed on Natasha’s life and they probably knew all about the situations she was in. The knowledge still did not stop Steve from feeling his cheeks turn rosy.

Clint shot Steve a threatening look.  _ ‘You were using my sister for sex?!’ _

“Okay bye honey,” Laura turned back to her husband.

Clint nodded before giving her a goodbye kiss and sending her back down towards their house.

—-

“So you and Rogers _again_ ,” Clint began.

Natasha knew that was coming.

“Aren’t you going to ask me about Turkey first?” She eyed him down.

“That can wait. I want to know about you and Cap and your outcomes,” Clint tilted his head towards where James and Sarah were. “Cause I mean I knew you were crawling into bed with him and melting every time he made eye contact with you, but how the fuck did you make those?”

Natasha shrugged.

“I didn’t believe it could happen which was why I didn’t question it earlier,” She explained. “As far as I knew, I couldn’t have children.”

“But then the super everything had to shine,” Clint laughed.

“Shut up,” Natasha smacked his arm playfully. “He’s a good father.”

“He’s good for you,” Clint nodded. “You’re a pain in the ass and he’s a patient man.”

Natasha rolled her eyes, but she knew he meant well and he was right.

“You couldn’t have named the boy after me?” Clint rolled his eyes.

“I was thinking of his father when I finally got to hold him and I just remembered Steve had always kind of hinted he would name his son after James. How about a middle name? You did almost name baby number three after me.”

Clint grinned.

“You guys discussed children before? I thought you were just doing him, not making family plans,” Clint made a face of disgust.

“We never discussed children, but it was implied at one point,” Natasha hissed at him. “And then Sarah, I had no idea what to name her. She was just baby girl for a while. And then one day I was holding her and I just called her Sarah, like Steve’s mom. She kind of reminded me of her with the blonde hair and blue eyes.”

Clint sent her a puzzled look.

“I’ve seen pictures,” Natasha defended. “And I did not melt at every eye contact,” she gave him a stern look.

“Can I just remind you that you that you have literally never gone against Rogers? I mean you attacked me when I was on _his_ side at the airport—but you let him go and then you tased the Black Panther multiple times—who was fighting alongside _you_. Rogers always says you’re a loyal partner, but I don’t think he’s realized he’s the only one you’ve been  _ that _ loyal to,” Clint pointed out. “You stick around for your job duties Natasha, but you’ve never chosen your emotions over them. You letting him go and being on the run with him? I know love when I see it.” He finished with a goofy grin, just enough to get Natasha to send him an irritated look.

“You didn’t want to hear any of that,” Clint went on, his voice definitely taunting her. “Because you don’t like finding out how obvious it was. But I’m telling you sis, he looks at you and boom! Twins!”

Natasha smacked his arm, hard.

“Hey Cap!” Clint called out at Steve, who had been taking over the pilot duty.

Steve turned his head towards them.

“You got my Russian sister pregnant with twins,” Clint started and Natasha was rolling her eyes again. “So I’m pretty sure that means I get to hit you with my arrows at least twice.”

—-

The commute was long, primarily because everyone was tired, antsy, and Natasha was exhausted from all the questions and the need to give precise details on what she could remember. It was a literal dark time in her life and she hardly recalled the details of what happened in those twenty-two months. Being questioned and begged for details was draining--which is probably how she ended up falling asleep as she sat in between the two carseats and behind Pepper.

Sam and Tony both took on the pilots role as Steve claimed he wanted a rest, even though he just needed to discuss things with Clint.

“Congrats, Cap,” Clint patted Steve’s shoulder as he took the seat next to him. “No one can handle Natasha, so I give you props. I can’t even handle her. I figured that was enough punishment, no need to hit you with my arrow.”

Steve chuckled at his remark.

“Thanks,” He nodded. “But I actually wanted to talk to you about being a father,” He spoke, rather shyly for a leader who was keen to giving precise orders.

“You’re doing great from what Natasha has told me,” Clint affirmed. “And she’s not known to give compliments.”

“How do you do it?” Steve asked. “How do you find it in you to leave, knowing you might not get to go back to your family?”

Clint took in a deep breathe and pondered his response.

“It never gets easier,” He sighed. “This job is a complete risk and Laura gave it up completely because our kids are more important. I still held on, but honestly Cap, it’s not worth it.” He shook his head.

Steve remained quiet.

“Not worth the worry,” Clint continued. “It’s not worth saying goodbye to them and walking away. Maybe you hold a different attachment to this because of who you are--”

“I did,” Steve cut him off. “I feel guilty saying it, but I will put down that shield and past it on for my children.”

“You’re a good man, Steve,” Clint spoke honestly. “You’ll do the right thing for you and for those kids. The world will always have bad guys. They’ll always be there, with or without you. It’s just how it is. But your kids, yeah they’ll always be your kids--it’s just up to you to be a part of their memories or not. Do you really want to miss birthdays and holidays with them because a mission held you up on the other side of the world?”

His question was rhetorical but Steve still felt the need to shake his head in response.

“I know Natasha, she’s always been a dangerous woman and she’s scary as fuck,” Clint laughed quietly. “But I also know, even though she won’t admit it, she’s always craved what a family feels like. And I’m glad she’s got that with you. She’s always been alone and had you two never met, I wouldn’t be surprised if she stayed that way. Because let’s face the facts, that woman does not wait or follow anyone around but I think you and I both can say she's made plenty of exceptions when it comes to you,” He gave Steve a playful wink. “Not sure what you did Golden boy, but you charmed her.”

Steve shook his head.

“There was still protesting on her end when the ‘us’ conversation needed to happen,” He informed Clint. “The twins are really the best thing to happen to me though. I think they helped Natasha be more open to unconditional love.” Steve’s eyes darted towards where Pepper was cooing at the barely awake toddlers.

The Hawkeye just nodded, knowing fully well what the Captain meant.

“Kids are very powerful like that.”

Steve nodded. Fatherhood was still new to him and it was refreshing to discuss it with someone who has first hand experience with it. It also helped that Clint had the same history in fighting. It was hard to find anyone in their line of work that had a family and Steve could see why. They were walking on very dangerous paths, all the time.

He was glad Clint knew Natasha well, it eased the conversation and he felt comfortable asking for any sort of guidance from the Hawkeye when it came to Natasha and their children. It made Steve wonder if Natasha ever felt the need to confide in someone who has had experience in motherhood. The only person he could think of was Clint’s wife, but she was far away.

“She’s always been different around you,” Clint’s voice pulled him out of his constantly wandering mind these days. “I knew something was up—aside from the media constantly catching you guys going out all the  _ damn _ time—she never denied it when I gave her a hard time about being in love with you. But I was going to hit you with my arrow at one point,” He admitted. “I was tempted. I knew you two sleeping around, she made that clear long ago. One time she made a comment that you probably will always just see her just as the person she’s labeled to be, just someone to waste time with and no emotional attachment. Kinda pissed me off. I thought you were better than that.”

Steve was ready to defend himself, but Clint went on.

“Cause she is who she is and she plays the games she wants, but I knew she was involving emotions with you. She said it herself once, she gets bored easily. She would have cut you long ago if it was just another meaningless thing to her. So I knew she was in deep shit love. Just denying it and I wanted to hit you with my arrow for stringing her along.”

“I was just respecting her beliefs—love was not an option for her. She made it loud and clear,” Steve recalled. “I was in it too deep to walk away. I’d wait forever for that woman. I had her in my arms every night but it wasn’t enough, except the ball was in her court. Always was. You have to believe me when I tell you that I’m ridiculously in love with her. Have been for years.”

“Oh I believe it loverboy,” Clint said, “But I gotta admit, I didn’t think you had the balls to even try at her.”

Steve felt that small little guy deep inside him again ignite. A guy like him would have never dared initiate anything with a girl like Natasha. She was the type to turn someone’s self esteem down in a snap. And in Steve’s defense, she was the one who initiated everything. He was just weak for her. And  _ boy _ did she make sure in the beginning that he knew to never be flattered by the idea of them because nothing good could come from it.

“Trust me, I tried to keep my distance,” Steve defended.

Clint’s eyes turned towards the direction of where the twins were.

“Yeah you didn’t succeed with that.”

 


	10. Chapter 10

“Bucky says to land the jet on top of the building,” Steve ordered.

They landed the jet after dropping off Pepper, Wanda, Vision, and the twins at the hotel. It was established that Pepper would keep the babies safe, while Wanda and Vision guarded them and did everything in the power to keep all of them safe.

Steve, Natasha, Tony, and Sam went exactly to where Bucky had told them and just as expected, he was waving at them at the rooftop of a very basic cemented building.

There was hardly anything around them but fields and what looked like distance houses--possibly. It was hard to tell with the blazing sun and tall weeds overflowing the endless fields.

Steve gave Bucky a hug and motioned for him and Natasha to exchange whatever they needed to. Natasha just nodded at him, which he returned.

Tony called Natasha over to take a look at the door that caught his attention and Sam followed along, leaving Steve and Bucky to do their brief catching up.

“I’m still scared of her,” Bucky admitted in a whisper to Steve. “I kinda tried to kill her twice and I’m just waiting for her to literally kill me.”

“She’s not going to kill you,” Steve assured him. “She would have long ago if she wanted to.”

Bucky nodded.

“The only reason she hasn’t is because of you,” He noted and Steve nodded in agreement. “So try not to break her heart cause she might kill both of us.”

Steve laughed but he shook his head. “Not a chance.”

\--

“Can we take this elevator down?” Tony asked after examining the surroundings.

“Yeah, it’s empty.” Bucky nodded. “It’s an elevator that goes straight down to the basement. To get on the other floors, you have to go through the door downstairs, weird ass system.”

Tony and Sam hopped on the metal box and motioned to go down.

“We arrived here yesterday,” Bucky explained. “There were guards up here. We could not find the door from ground level, the whole place is just a cement building. After trapping the guards, we took the elevator and it led straight to the basement. Three men were in there. They heard us coming because they were already heading at another direction when the elevator doors opened. I’ll show you the way they took to get out because it seems like an underground tunnel. We didn’t go through the tunnel, figured it's safer to get the team. Plus we heard noises from upstairs. That’s when we discovered the stairs to go up a floor, where there were children and women in cages.”

Steve felt Natasha stiffen next to him.

“Were there others when you were here?” Steve asked, she had not mentioned of others being needed to be rescued.

Natasha shook her head.

“I had no idea, we were alone and there were no cages, just two rooms that I knew of. One where I was locked in and the lab, where everything was done and where James and Sarah stayed at, as far as I knew. But when I escaped, I went through a hallway and then stairs,” Natasha frowned at the memory. “I know I ran up a lot of stairs at the end of it. I found a hallway from the lab and I found one big glass wall and I broke it. It was loud and I was sure I would get caught, especially since it did not lead outside,” She explained. “It led to another hallway and it was empty, no one was there. I ran until I saw a door. The door led to stairs. Lots of stairs. I took it all the way until it ended and when I opened it, I looked at a field. The door was not locked at all. There one guard there. All I did was knock him out once and I fled. I ran forever and there were still no people around.”

Steve and Bucky looked at each other trying to make sense of the layout.

“It sounds like you ran miles down a hallway,” Bucky pointed out.

“I’m sure I did,” Natasha agreed. “But why would they not have guards at the end of that door if that was their method of exit?”

“You had been there for months and never tried to escape, they probably felt reassured to leave you at night alone as long as the place was locked so no one could get inside,” Steve assumed. “You said they gave you something to drink every night that pretty much put you to sleep?”

Natasha nodded.

“Normally they watch me drink it or they do it themselves, but the woman that night, she was in a rush. She said the twins were being difficult and she needed to tame them. I was furious but she had stormed out of the door before I drank anything, so I poured the stupid liquid behind me. My whole back was wet but I figured they would not see it. I was chained so I didn’t have anywhere to pour it without being obvious. When she came back much later to get the empty cup, I pretended to be knocked out. I waited until everything went dark like it did every night and then I broke the chain and I broke the other one,” She winced thinking about the pain. “The next problem was the door. It was metal so I had to somehow break the knob. That took me forever, but I did it. The lab was not locked at the twins were wide awake when I saw them in a glass cage. The cage was coded, so I broke the damn thing and grabbed them. I felt so bad because I knew glass had hit their bare feet but we needed to go,” She closed her eyes at the memory.

“You did good Nat,” Steve rubbed her shoulder softly. “Let’s go check this location out for leads.”

“The building is empty now. T’Challa had four women and six children escorted and taken to a nearby hospital. The guards we have are locked up. They’re not speaking, but we’ll get them to crack,” He winked, aiming to lighten up the situation.

“Ready to go in?” Steve asked Natasha.

She nodded.

“Sam?” Steve spoke through their earpiece. “Status?”

“Clear, Cap!” Sam answered.

Bucky motioned for them to get inside the elevator.

“I’ll stay out here and stand guard.”

Steve and Natasha both nodded.

“Look familiar?”

“Not here,” Natasha admitted. “But it was dark and I think I did run for miles and ended up on another end.”

Steve pulled her close, it seemed like he was reassuring her, but it was himself that needed calming. Killing was not his thing, but this one called for it.

When they reached the lab, Tony and Sam were already gathering anything they found important or looked promising.

Natasha headed towards the shelf that held what looked like journals.

“This is the lab,” She confirmed as she reached for a book. “Baby A and Baby B, Rogers,” she read, catching Steve’s attention towards her. “Looks like all their notes on the twins.”

Natasha flipped through the pages and there were just writings.

“I can’t read these, they’re Turkish?” She questioned.

Steve picked up the other book on the shelf. This one contained more notes and then there were pictures. Pictures of newborns—the twins be figured. They were so small and curled together. It would be any other newborn pictures just at sight, but he knew it was not taken for memory purposes. He peeled the picture out of the page and tucked it in his pocket.

It was Natasha that flipped the next page, which had more pictures and notes, this time they were written in English.

“Male baby has grown an inch. Female baby remains the same height,” Natasha read and she felt the sorrow take over as the pictures of James and Sarah were in front of her.

They were sleeping and they looked peaceful, regardless of the situation. Steve peeled the pictures off as well. To those people, they were test notes. To him, they would be the only newborn pictures he and Natasha would have of them.

The notes went on and eventually Natasha was mentioned. It talked about her genetics and the amounts of blood drawn from her. It listed how many chemicals they injected in her. It noted that she was able to conceive despite the Red Room’s sterilization.

There were dates and numbers that neither Steve or Natasha understood. And then there were pictures of the twins each month, always just in diapers and no clothing. Each month their weight, height, and developments were logged. As the months passed by, more things were added—like pain tolerance. It noted that they had high pain tolerance and what levels were tested. Steve nearly broke the table he was resting on as he read the details.

“Those bastards tested their pain tolerance?!” He barked angrily.

“They tested for a lot,” Natasha’s voice was mellow. “They were trying to see how the serum was genetically passed on and how to use them to make serums.”

The log book then bad detailed dates on their development as infants. It was Sarah who spoke first at only seven months, which James followed along two weeks later. But it was James who walked first at eight months. The writing noted they were advanced for their age and they could comprehend lengthy sentences by nine months. By twelve months, both could count to twenty in English and Turkish, and they could recognize numbers.

“I didn’t know any of these,” Natasha said softly. “Aside from being able to comprehend a lot at a young age, the rest I didn’t know.”

The last tested date was most likely the day Natasha escaped. It discussed that the toddlers were going to be tested on their ability to stay awake for twenty-four hours and their capability of not having food or water for long periods of time. It calculated all the boosted injections they would need to accurately test it. The notes ended there because the testing never fully happened.

“My babies,” Natasha cried as she flipped back to the pictures.

They were not pictures she wanted to keep. They were clearly test objects in the photos and she only wanted memories of James and Sarah being actual toddlers. She made a mental note to take more pictures of them, they were happy toddlers and those are the memories she wants to look at.

“Burn these,” She growled.

Steve threw the books towards Sam, who caught them and nodded.

Natasha made her way around the lab, to a small hallway.

“I was stuck in there,” She spoke as she felt Steve follow behind. “They locked me in here and I had a little glass window I could see into the lab. Sometimes I would see them and I can vaguely hear them. There were times where I’m pretty sure they cried very loud because these walls are supposed to be soundproof.” 

Steve pulled her close to him.

“You’re the strongest person I know,” He said, almost in a whisper as Natasha turned around to bury her face into his chest and cry.

Steve could barely understand her muffled cries, but he heard her utter the words of being lucky to have him and how much it hurts to think about what two babies had to go through.

“I’m the lucky one Nat,” he rubbed her back. “You were so determined to get them to me and I’m honored,” he meant every word. “You escaped, you did it. You did it for our kids and for me.”

Natasha nodded her head lazily, still keeping her face buried in Steve’s chest.

“James and Sarah are lucky to have a mother who never gives up,” Steve soothed her. “They’re fortunately never going to remember what happened in this basement. But I’m going to make sure they remember their hero.”

Steve kissed the top of her head. He understood the pain memories can ignite and part of him really wished Natasha had stayed home. Being back would bring all the raw bitterness she encountered and Steve wanted to spend the rest of his life trying to make her forget them. But he was also glad she was there with him.

“I want to fight,” She lifted her head up, wiping away the tears.

“I know you do,” Steve realized long ago he was in love with a fighter and it something he just needs to accept, no matter how much he wants to fight for her. “Let’s go back to the hotel so Tony and I can brainstorm where to track them based on what he’s gathered.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi friends! Here's an update for you :) I'm away for the next few days, so the update won't be constant. But I'll be sure to get this up and going asap. Thank you again for reading!

Natasha was sitting at the balcony of their villa. She did not associate Turkey with fond memories due to the circumstances she was in. However, the view before her was breathtaking and she wished it was the only image the country had embedded in her mind. The sun was barely coming down, which meant the sky was overly orange and it was a sight to keep.

“I knew you had a soft spot for me.” Bucky’s voice interrupted Natasha’s peaceful thoughts.

She could hear the smirk in voice, even though she kept her gaze ahead.

“I did it for Steve,” She defended, goodness she was defending a lot of her soft-decisions lately. 

She still had not turned to face him, but she heard him pull a chair out and then flopped himself down on it.

“He said it before, he’d name his son after you. Even though he was liquored up and Tony had us playing the game Life, I took it with meaning.” She went on.

“Just admit it,” Bucky teased. “You have accepted me as your favorite brother-in-law and it’s why I’m not dead yet.”

Natasha finally turned her head and glared at him and it was enough to change the subject.

“Let me meet my namesake and his womb-mate,” Bucky insisted.

“Steve was just getting them. He should be back out her soon.”

“I’m so proud of my brother,” Natasha could see Bucky’s cheesy expression from the corner of her eye. “Finally a father.”

She smiled, but her focus remained towards the everlasting orange sky.

Silence took over between them and it was a long moment before Bucky spoke again.

“You make him happy, you know,” He stared at Natasha, who let out a soft smile, but her eyes never met his. “He talked about you a lot when we tried to search for you.”

His last comment caused her to finally make eye contact with him.

“We traveled everywhere for months,” He went on. “We spent a lot of time in Russian thinking maybe you went back to trace some roots or had to take care of some old business that was lingering,” He shrugged. “No idea, Steve just led and I was there for support and extra eyes. But he told me a lot about you and I could tell you guys had always been close.”

Natasha nodded.

“I’m Steve’s longest friend and I know I’m still important to him,” Bucky felt like he was just talking to fill the silence at this point. “But I think you’ve become his best friend.”

Natasha shook her head.

“You’re still his best friend,” she finally spoke.

“Probably, but what I’m saying is that you’ve become his best friend and I think it’s nice that he never had to feel alone after the whole ice thing,” Bucky pointed out. “He had you and from what he’s said, you guys became really good friends and he cares about you, a lot. It’s why he spent the entire time you were missing searching for you. Some of us started to think that you didn’t want to be found and you left on your own accords. But Steve didn’t believe it. He said he just could not see you doing that to him, he said he knew you. You would have told him you were leaving, even if you knew he didn’t want to hear it. So he never gave up and I owed it to him to be by his side.”

“He’s right,” Natasha practically whispered. “I would have told him if I had no intentions of coming back. I talked to him that morning, I had every intention of grabbing lunch with him later.”

“And he knew that,” Bucky nodded. “It’s why he never gave up. Honestly, I supported him because ever since I came back—really sorry for trying to kill you multiple times,” he added, his voice sounding sincere.

“I don’t normally accept apologies, but I’ll let this one slide,” she looked at him, making sure he understood that she was definitely doing it for Steve.

“Thanks,” Bucky nodded.

“I love him,” Natasha felt the words escape her lips before she could take it back.

She knew she was in love with him. Had known for a long time. It was just actually admitting it outloud that was the difficult task for her.

“I don’t think I need to tell you that he loved you too. You already know he does.”

“Yeah,” Natasha let out softly as she heard blabbing toddlers coming from behind.

Both Natasha and Bucky turned around to catch Steve walking, very slowly as he let James and Sarah lead the way. They were bouncing with every step as they each held Steve’s hand. They were just two happy, bubbly toddlers holding their father’s hand.

“Look guys, it’s uncle Bucky,” Steve walked them over.

They were getting better with being around people. In just a short amount of time, they had grown more. They became easily adjusted to the real world, which Natasha had hoped would be an easy transition. She assured herself that children assimilated quickly, yet she still feared the life they only knew would linger.

But her fears washed away for them when they started playing more, voicing their needs and wants, and their smiles were comforting.

Natasha walked over to  _ her family _ and lifted Sarah up. Her perfect little girl. Blessed was never a word she described for herself because one of the world’s deadliest assassins do not ever feel that. Yet here she was, feeling so fortunate as her daughter smiled at her with ocean blue eyes that showed pure adoration.

“Okay James,” Steve’s voice was soft, softer than Bucky had ever heard it. “Say hi to Uncle Bucky.”

James looked up at his father, still holding his hand, and then at the new face in front of him. He reached his free hand up, asking for a high-five that had Bucky chuckling. He gave in, because who was he to deny a toddler that gesture?

“Hi!” James grinned after the high-give.

“Oh man you’re in trouble,” Bucky spoke as he looked back and forth between James and Sarah. “You two did good.”

Natasha handed Sarah to Steve so he could do the honor and introduce her to Bucky. She had stayed long enough to watch Bucky interact with the twins as he and Steve exchanged memories. Once they sat on the floor and bounced a ball between James and Sarah, she excuses herself to clean up. Mainly, she wanted to let Steve and Bucky talk freely.

—-

“I’m really happy for you man,” Bucky stated again as the balcony grew dark. “Fatherhood suits you.”

Steve nodded, a proud smile appearing on his face.

“It’s crazy, I never knew I needed them but now I can’t even imagine life without them,” he looked at the mobile toddlers, curiously getting into everything.

“Natasha told me my namesake got his name because you had said something before,” Bucky’s voice softened. “I just wanted to say I’m really honored.”

Steve patted his shoulder.

“You’ve done a lot for me,” he spoke. “You’ve been a brother and my son deserves to be named after someone who’s strong in every way and has been a great influence on my life,” he explained.

Bucky smiled, touched by the gestures of his long time best friend. There was always something about the events and circumstances in their lives that tested their loyalty and belief in one another, but just as they had always been, their determination to find the good in one another always won.

“I actually wanted to talk to you about something that has been on my mind,” Steve sat down, looking at his hands. “I haven’t said it out loud yet but it’s all I’ve been thinking about.”

Bucky stayed quiet, but he looked at Steve waiting for further explanation. Except Steve held his head down and his gaze were focused on his feet. The silence of the night had taken over and despite their reason to be in Turkey; it was a very peaceful country.

“I want to step away from being Captain America,” Steve sighed as he got the words out.

Bucky looked at him. His declaration was not all that surprising. Anyone who knew Steve Rogers would know that as dedicated as he is to protecting and saving the people—his family will always be his main priority and no one would fight that.

“That’s understandable, Steve,” Bucky spoke.

James and Sarah wobbled their way to where their father sat, blabbering and pointing at the stars that had filled the sky.

Steve smiled at them as he lifted them up to sit on his lap. He informed them about stars and making wishes. Something they probably did not comprehend, but their eyes lit up at the sparkling sky anyway and it held their attention long enough for Steve to get back to his conversation with Bucky.

“I think you should take the title,” He said as a matter of fact.

Now  _ that _ was shocking to Bucky.

“What?”

“I know you,” Steve pointed out. “You’re a leader, a good one, and you’ll—“

“Steve, the controversy—“

“You’re made to be Captain America. You put others first, you’re made out of as much good as I am—I can see you taking over. Leading your own team. Making the right decisions—“

“Finding myself a trusty partner and falling in love with her?” Bucky teased.

“You can do that too,” Steve grinned.

“In all seriousness Steve,” Bucky’s tone shifted. “You’re talking nonsense, buddy.”

Steve shook his head.

“Consider it.”

Bucky just nodded, watching his best friend stand up, holding his children tight as he walked over towards the railing of the balcony. Steve looked at them with pure joy and they looked up at him with admiration. He was talking to them, but Bucky could barely make out the words. All he could see was the way Sarah reached her tiny hand to her father’s cheek and giggle as he tried to kiss her little fingers. And how little James rested his small head against his father’s chest as he pointed up at the bright stars.

He knew then that Steve Rogers had made up his mind. He would not be putting on that suit and throwing that shield after he finally manages to declare his family safe.

\---

While Tony and Steve plotted (mostly banters) their routes, targets, and methods, Natasha and Pepper sat down in the common room.

In all the years that Natasha has known Tony Stark, she had only truly encountered Pepper a few times and it was usually during parties, galas, or charity events. She was not known to stop by the Tower often and she kept her distance from the Avengers. In short, Natasha barely knew her. But when Tony suggested Pepper could watch her children, she did not fight it because she trusted Stark in that sense—-despite his condescending ways sometimes and the fact that she did betray his team.

Sitting in the room with Pepper was a tad bit awkward because they had no common grounds. They came from different backgrounds and most likely were into very different things. The only thing they had that linked them together was Tony.

Natasha has never been known to make small talks and she was perfectly fine sitting in pure silence, regardless of the company in the room.

“I know you don’t remember much, but would you do the pregnancy thing again?” Pepper asked, bring the silence.

Natasha shifted her head towards Pepper’s direction andfound herself considering the question. She had never thought about having more children or if she’s even capable of doing that again, but it was not a scary idea. She would not be mad if it happened again.

“Yeah, I would,” She nodded. “It wasn’t that bad, from what I can remember. I think the first two months were bad for me because I was stressing myself out with trying to figure out if I was pregnant or not.”

“Tony wants a baby,” The strawberry blonde shared. “I don’t know if I do.”

“Well,” Natasha began. “I definitely did not want a baby. A baby never even crossed my mind. And it was terrifying knowing I was having a baby,” She admitted. “But then, the one time I felt them kick—actually I don’t think I knew there were two babies for a while, they withheld information from me.”

Pepper reached over to place a comforting hand on Natasha’s arm.

“But yeah I felt the kicks and I just thought ‘wow, that’s my baby.’ And I really was wishing then that I had told Steve what I was doing that morning. All I had to do was tell him and things could have been different.” She looked down at the floor, hoping to stop the tears from forming and breaking down in front of Pepper.

“Setting all that aside, Steve seems way happier now,” Pepper flashed a reassuring smile. “I felt like he was sulking for basically two years and I think he’s just so glad to have you back. And fatherhood suits him. And you too Agent Romanov, you’ve taken on the motherhood role naturally,” She added.

Natasha nodded her head slowly. No matter how many people tell her that and try to reassure her, she would never forget the fact that she really did not deserve to have found the true meaning of love. It was too wonderful for someone who had done so much cruelty.

“If you had asked me a few years ago if I ever wanted children, I would have told you no. Not even something to consider,” she spoke. “I don’t think anyone of the Avengers really considered children because look at the lives we live. We’re in constant danger. And personally, I didn’t know what a family really felt like. I was content with whatever I was doing in life, didn’t feel like I was missing out on anything because I never had a taste of it.”

Pepper nodded.

“But now, I actually feel bad for those who cannot experience parenthood. And trust me, that’s a lot coming from me,” Natasha stated. “I would have expected everyone else on the team to have children before me.”

“Everything happens for a reason.  It’s just that the idea of raising children is just terrifying to me.”

“It is terrifying,” Natasha admitted. “I worry every second that I’m doing it wrong. But I have to say, I rather be worrying about my children than how I’m going to get out of a mission alive. You get out of a mission, you’re rewarded with another day. You worry about your own kids and you’re rewarded with...love and well, a family,” she added, a blush forming on her cheeks.

Family and love were new to her and hearing her own self gush about it was rather surreal.

“Now let me show you some of the pictures I took of James and Sarah while you guys were out,” Pepper grinned taking her phone out.

 


	12. Chapter 12

Bucky and Sam made true to their promises as they did manage to get the guards they captured to cough up some information. They would not give details on the men Bucky knew he saw with T’Challa, but they did let out on information on the woman. And that was better than nothing.

They went exactly where the woman was projected to be and one could say she was absolutely shocked to be greeted with four faces--one being a very familiar one. Steve actually had to hold Natasha back as she had pushed her way past Sam and Bucky to knock the woman down.

“They were good babies for the most part,” She laughed, the devil clearly behind her every word. “But boy did they fight us.” Her voice held no remorse and it made both Steve and Natasha want to attack.

“We had hacked into Cho’s system long ago,” She explained. “Waiting for anything on Steve Rogers’ medical history to pop. But sadly, there was never anything.” Her tone lowered. “Except when we had our biggest break through of all. Natasha Romanov had sent a message to whom she assumed was Dr. Cho, confiding in her with concerns about pregnancy and boy oh boy was that something we never expected.”

Steve had to clench his fist in order not to throw a punch that would surely knock the woman out in a split second.

“We waited for anything in regards to Captain America’s medical results, but the realization of actually having his baby in our hands? It was a dream come true,” The woman continued to talk, but her eyes never left the wall. “Who else would the Black Widow be having a child with? Captain America was the only logical explanation. Of course that was an assumption on our end as Natasha here never did tell Dr. Cho who the father is. But regardless, we plotted the best method we could to ensure a successful mission. We needed that baby and we would get that baby. The idea was to just keep the Black Widow alive until the baby was born—“

“You’re lucky if I let you out of here alive,” Steve spoke through gritted teeth.

The woman did not flinch. She hardly even made eye contact with anyone.

“But then when we discovered twins, it was just icing on the cake. And that was when we knew we needed to monitor all three of them. How was such a damaged woman from the Red Room able to conceive—let alone twins? Clearly the serum was powerful, but we needed to know what went in that serum to recreate it. We could use the genetics on the twins and inject them into other children and see if the serum enhances them. But we had to wait, the babies needed to develop before we could begin testing.”

“You tortured them,” Steve growled.

“Even in the womb we knew they were clearly yours, the Black Widow offered no information on their father, but it was clear as day when they were born and all she cried for was her darling Steve,” the woman snickered at the memory. “You should have seen her cry for you Captain when she heard the twins’ first cries. She wanted you, cried for you, we had to shut her up as her distress was causing natural stress on the babies—-“

“I will kill you,” Steve wanted to do just that at the way the cruel woman had shared information about Natasha.

He wished he was there during the birth, for her and for the twins. He wished it had been a different setting—an actual hospital and that he had his presence there to offer support.

“You’re not going to hurt me,” She spat, finally looking up. “That would be uncharacteristic.”

Steve bore his angry eyes into hers.

“I could kill you with my bare hands,” He threatened. “You tortured my children and the woman I love, I will kill you.” He grabbed the woman’s arm, knowing well he’s already left a bruise.

“Steve,” Natasha’s voice interfered. “Let me do it.”

Sam and Bucky exchanged puzzled looks.

“I thought we were going to just lock them up,” Sam whispered.

“We should step in,” Bucky suggested.

“I’m not sure I want to man,” Sam stepped back. “Never really seen them that angry and trust me, I’ve seen Natasha angry.”

Bucky rolled his eyes.

“Steve,” He walked up to his long time best friend. “Let us take it from here,” he reasoned. “We got them, they’re going to pay for their actions.”

Steve’s hand was still gripping angrily on the mastermind behind it all. He really felt the urge to snap her in half. He was boiling with anger, the thirst for revenge and it was everything against his upbringing.

“Come on Nat,” He let go of the evil-genius and motioned for Natasha to head his way.

She kept her eyes on the woman, the woman she saw everyday who put who knows what her body and was the reason of all the marks, scars, and cries her babies endured. The woman was right, t was completely unlike him to kill her, but Natasha could not say the same about herself. She’s killed before and boy would she gladly do it for vengeance and knowledge that the master of it all was gone for good.

“How are those brats anyway?” The woman called out.

Natasha glared at her.

“You want me to give her my worst, Nat?” Wanda shouted from her place across the room. “Because you know I will.”

Sam sent Wanda a hard look, urging her to keep to herself and not egg Natasha on. Because based on the nod Natasha gave, she was all in for hardcore revenge.

“I mean if you think about it,” her tone was pure evil. “I was more their mother than you. I watched them for twelve hours a day, hushed them when they cried, and I fed them--you only had them for maybe twenty minutes once a week.”

Steve threw her a punch, hard.

“Let’s go,” He grabbed Natasha’s arm lightly, ushering her towards the exit. “Wanda?” He called out, signaling for her to follow along.

Wanda walked towards them, but her eyes remained on the woman.

“I want to see James and Sarah,” Natasha nearly cried as they entered the elevator.

“We’ll go see them then,” Steve agreed.

—-

Clint poured himself a drink as Tony and Steve scrunched their faces in confusion.

“I mean we have some leads,” Tony informed Steve. “They’re a bunch of scientists that are trying to replicate the serum and use them on children, pregnant mothers especially. They’re trying to determine if a baby can be injected the serum and create these powerful armies--starting from youth.”

“Have they gotten far?”

Tony shook his head.

“Based on their research and notes, no. But have they injured many? Maybe killed babies, yes,” he sighed. “It looks like Natasha was their main object because they drew a lot from her. They basically were trying to get a hold of what protected the babies in the womb. Their notes said that the twins were protected by unknown compounds. Compounds that they believe to have been part of the serum process.”

Steve rubbed his face. He really wished now that Natasha had stayed home because once she heard what Tony was telling, she would most likely break down and then try to kill someone in revenge. The thirst for revenge was real. Even he could hardly contain himself and he was not a killer.

“Their goal was to monitor the twins, let them grow, and give them the boosts needed for brainwashing. Whatever they needed to do to get them under their mentality. But they thought it was too risky to do it as babies because they were still developing and their ability to grow needed to be watched for their hypothesis to be proven right,” Tony laid out the journals he grabbed. “We might be talking about a group of people who have yours and Romanoff’s DNA tucked away, hoping to create whatever they’re trying.”

“We’ll raid their whole facility then,” Steve declared. “Destroy everything they have.”

“That’s the thing though, I think they have multiple underground facilities.”

“I’m going to talk Natasha out of going with us on this mission. I think she should just stay back with Pepper and the kids,” Steve spoke.

“I think you should too,” Tony informed him.

Steve stared at him blankly.

“It’s your family in danger Steve,” Clint explained. “Your mind is not 100% focused on what we need to do. And,” he paused, taking in a deep breath. “They know Natasha is here, which means chances are, her children are with her. Those twins of yours, they should be your mission. You need to protect them. Let us unfold and tackle what we need to, you focus on protecting the people on the other side of those walls,” he pointed at the room where Natasha was probably resting with James and Sarah. “We won’t fail you, Cap. But don’t fail us either by letting those kids out of your sight.”

Steve just nodded. Tony and Clint meant well, but it went against everything he was programmed to do. He was supposed to lead them, get those scientists with them, and find the satisfaction in locking them up. But just as Clint stated, his biggest worries should be the three next door.

\---

“Hi dada!” Two squealing voices greeted Steve as he closed the hotel door behind him.

Two pairs of bright eyes looked up at him, their smiles matching the sparkling in their orbs.

Steve flashed them both a smile before they focused their attention on their game.

Natasha offered him a soft smile as she laid on the floor, occasionally pushing the ball between the toddlers. She was exhausted, yet she held it together—just as she always has in any situation she has ever been in.

“I remember thinking the war would never be over,” Steve spoke, causing Natasha to look up from her playtime with James and Sarah. “I remember thinking I will never go home to that quiet life—a family waiting for me—children, a home,” he went on.

James and Sarah continued to pass the ball between one another, not interested in the conversation their parents were having.

“I know it’s not technically over and we’re not home,” Steve clarified. “But this is nice, regardless of the situation. Walking into this hotel room that’s our home for now and having the three of you here.”

Natasha leaned back, using her elbows to prop her on the floor and smile at him. She understood what he was trying to say. She felt the same. It was a different feeling when you have had the worst possible day of your life, but then you had a family to come to. A family that automatically erased the negativity of the day—like how contagious the smiles of James and Sarah were when they see their mom or dad walk into the room.

“It’s a nice feeling,” Natasha agreed. “I still question how I even deserve their love or to be their mom, but I definitely don’t want it to be taken away from me. Never had a purpose in life before all of this.”

Steve sat down next to her.

“You’re a wonderful mother, Nat,” he assured her. “I always knew you would be.”

“I’m not sure many would say that about me,” she noted.

“That’s because they don’t know you,” Steve defended. “They don’t know how selfless you are. How you take on so many dangerous missions so no one else has to risk their lives. Or how you keep it all together so no one else worries. Or how you always get me coffee when you go on coffee runs without me even asking,” he added with a wink.

Natasha let out a small laugh.

“You always drank mine, I had to start getting two!” She exclaimed.

Steve placed a soft kiss on her lips.

“Just know, the next time you ask yourself how you deserved to know this type of love, it’s because of who you really are. The sides of you that only a few people get to see—not what the public’s idea is. You kickass out there and they just see Black Widow—but they don’t get the privilege to see Natasha, the one who loves brownies, hums in the shower, gives the best hugs, and has the most contagious smile in the world that our two children luckily inherited.”

Natasha smiled at him as she traced her fingers along his face.

“Are you trying to talk me out of something?”

Steve hung his head down in defeat as he chuckled. She was always so good at reading people.

“We’re going to let the team handle it,” he admitted. “You and I are staying back.”

Natasha opened her mouth to protest, but he interrupted her.

“They’re good Nat,” he explained. “Tony and Clint have grasped their motives, Sam and Bucky have done well running around the place, Wanda is more than eager to blow things up, and Vision—-well I don’t really know what he’s been up to, but they’re a good team.”

Natasha nodded, pressing her lips together. She wanted badly to tell him no, she had every right to fight. But at the same time, the whole situation was making her weak. The torture replayed in her mind far too many times already and she was sure bringing James and Sarah along was a horrible idea. They were the biggest victims—they had journals to prove it.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Sorry there was a delay. I went on a random vacation and then I got back...and needed to recover from that vacation.
> 
> But here you go! :)

“Stop that,” Natasha groaned.

“What?”

“You keep pacing.”

“I just really want to be out there with them.”

“So do I. But this was your idea, remember?”

Steve nodded and walked over to her. James and Sarah were napping, for once, and the anticipation was of waiting on the others for any news was actually eating them up. There was only so much they could do in the hotel suite. Natasha was lounging on the bed, flipping through the channels on the TV. She eventually landed on a random channel and just let it be background noise.

“Do you want to talk about things?” Steve asked, sitting on the bed beside her.

She raised an eyebrow at him.

“Me and you, the twins, future?” He shyly listed the things he wanted to talk about.

“Well,” Natasha spoke. “I think you and I are off to a good start?”

Steve nodded in reassurance.

“I think we’ve always been a good team out there, so we can conquer this...the sort of more mellow side of life,” she smiled at him.

“Are you mad--about the whole, you know--being pregnant thing?” Steve scratched the back of his head sheepishly.

Natasha gave him a puzzled look.

“No,” she shook her head. “I actually like being a mom.”

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you,” Steve spoke, his voice low. “I really wished things had been different. I would have been there for you. I should have been there.”

Natasha shrugged. She was not one to dwell too much on the what ifs in life. She long tortured herself already, wishing she could turn time back and change its course. She should have told Steve that morning and asked him to join her for comfort. But she was stubborn, in fact, she refused to believe she was even pregnant, even if all the signs were there. She was still convinced there was something wrong with her body--instead of growing a tiny human, or humans apparently.

She looked up and placed a kiss on his lips.

“I’m happy now,” her smile was true and meaningful, everything that made Steve fall even deeper for her. “Even though I’m still getting the hang of those domestic lifestyle,” she admitted. “I’m trying though. I try to imagine the life I would have liked growing up—like having a mother, of course a father—a home, just a family.”

Steve leaned down and kissed her lips.

“You make it all look natural, you know,” He smiled. “There’s no one else I rather be fighting crime with—or changing stinky diapers.”

Natasha giggled at his comment and Steve noticed she did that a lot more. They were always close and he got a lot of genuine smiles out of her than most did, however, giggles were unique. Especially for the stubborn Russian.

“As soon as this is over with, I’m stepping down,” Steve informed her.

Natasha raised her eyebrow at him.

“I want to back off and just focus on us, our family,” He explained. “Give James and Sarah a somewhat normal lifestyle.”

“You don’t have to give up who you are for us, you know,” Natasha spoke. “We can compromise.”

Steves shook his head.

“This is who I am,” He pointed out. “I’m a father first, Captain America is no longer my priority.”

Natasha sighed and laid on the bed.

“I can’t make you do anything, but think about this decision. Think about it a lot,” She insisted as she closed her eyes, feeling the comfort of the soft cotton bed sheets beneath her.

“I have Nat. It’s what I want.”

Natasha nodded her head, eyes still closed as she considered taking a nap; even if it was the worst possible time to attempt such thing.

“I want to focus on James and Sarah, I do,” Natasha opened her eyes, scolding at the brightness of their hotel room. “But I think I also want to be a part of the team here and there. Just like minor work, you know?”

Steve nodded. He considered that route too. Still be involved, but not as the leader. He would gladly step in when needed, but to an extent. His risky lifestyle and care-free persona would have to have boundaries now as he has a family to think about--children who need their father. 

“We can do that, we both can,” He spoke confidently. “Back off on the risky missions, but still help out.”

“Okay,” Natasha nodded, curling up on the bed. “Just be patient with me.”

“I’m a patient man,” Steve joined her on the bed.

—-

“What’s this you stepping down?!” Sam barged in the door, causing Steve to jolt out from his unintentional nap.

“What?” Steve sat up as Natasha groaned and pulled the covers over her, ignoring the commotion that interrupted her slumber.

“Hello little Steve and Natasha,” Sam looked at the toddlers playing amongst themselves. “You’re going to leave us with him?!” His head darted at Steve, eyes glaring at him. “Him?”

Steve blinked a few times, adjusting to the sight of a frustrated Sam glaring at him.

“How do you know about that?”

“Your Bucky told me! He said you think he should be the next Captain America!” Sam huffed.

“What?!” Natasha flew out from under the covers.

“Uh-oh,” Sarah’s voice could be heard from the other side of the room.

“Mama mad,”James added.

Natasha stood up from the bed, walking over to the twins who had politely entertained themselves while their parents napped.

“I’m not mad,” she kissed James’ head and then Sarah’s—who continued to play with their new-found favorite ball. “But what?!” Natasha exclaimed, looking at Steve. “You’ve already offered your spot to Bucky?”

“Why is everyone making a big—“

“It is a big deal,” Natasha rolled her eyes. “You’re suppose to my partner on the field—not Bucky.”

“I thought you said you weren’t going back out there?” Steve asked, confusion plastered across his face.

“Not forever, I don’t know. Not now, but maybe,” Natasha shrugged, unsure of where she stood when it came to making a decision about terminating the only life she really knew before. “But yes I’m a mother first, an Avenger second.”

“I already made up my mind,” Steve pointed out. “I’m not going to be Captain America anymore. I want to fully be with my children.”

“Does Tony know about this?” Sam asked.

Steve shook his head. “I only told Bucky fully.”

Silence took over as the three of them exchanged glances.

“Things are changing man,” Sam shook his head. “Tony wants a family, Vision and Wanda are probably going to want the same soon, you guys have a family. It just leaves me and Bucky out there.”

Natasha shrugged reluctantly at Sam’s words. He was right, things were changing. Things had been changing and things had certainly not been the same for her for nearly two years...and things were definitely not the same for Steve ever since she knocked on his door and dropped the bombshell of him having children.

“Maybe the field and missions will change,” Steve nodded in agreement. “But I don’t think our dynamics will,” he tried to be reassuring, although it was clear to see that they were all going their separate ways—slowly.

“Not true,” Sam shook his head. “Tony will most likely spend more time in Malibu than anything. You two will probably move somewhere to accommodate—“

“We don’t have plans to move yet Sam,” Natasha interrupted and she could feel Steve flicker his eyes at her because he certainly has had plans to move very soon.

“Maybe I should retire,” Sam sat down on the empty bed.

Steve shook his head. “Don’t make irrational decisions man. Let’s get through this mission right now.”

Sam let out a lazily nod before motioning to head out, a sigh escaping from him as he opened the door and let himself out.

Natasha looked over at Steve and then silently went over to sit on the floor with James and Sarah. She simply watched them babbling in their own language and exchanging toys.

“I’ve made up my mind, Nat,” Steve walked over to them, sitting down next to James, who smiled up at him. “I’m going to focus on us. I’m walking away from this Captain America persona.”

“Dada,” Sarah reached out her little arms, eyes twinkling as she awaited the attention.

Steve gladly whisked her into his arms.

“I want these type of moments.” He spoke, catching Natasha’s eyes. “I’m done being attacked and running,” he added, placing a light kiss on Sarah’s messy blonde hair.

Natasha nodded. She had a difficult time finding her voice when it came to agreeing with Steve because everything he expressed made sense. She felt the same. Yet a slight part of her felt guilty. She changed his entire life and perhaps he was not entirely ready to give up the life he had dedicated himself too...but she was hardly giving him a choice now. He is Steve Rogers; he will always put the people he loves first. While Steve made it clear he was happy, a part of her held on to the fact that she really did drop a bombshell on him.

“I want to be home for their birthdays, I want Christmases, tooth fairy stuff—all that family stuff I never thought I’d get to do. I finally get to now and I don’t want anything in the way,” Steve explained himself.

“Are you sure I didn’t rob you of your—,” Natasha pauses to find the words. “Well, of your life?”

Steve stared at her, bewildered.

“Nat,” he began. “You and I had adventures, we took on missions and lived day by day on the edge,” he noted. “That was our life then and probably the only life we both expected—“

“Yeah—“

“I was content with it,” Steve continued. “Despite all the fallouts, you and I were always good together.” He raised his eyebrow at Natasha playfully, managing to get a light laugh out of her. “We had a good time fighting and running. Doing what we do best—“

Sarah mumbled, jabbing her little fingers into Steve’s mouth.

“Dada,” she grinned, slapping her little hand against Steve’s cheek. 

“You know, it used to be mama, mama,” Natasha scoffed playfully. “Now it’s all dada.”

“Mama,” James let out as if on cue, his toothy grin proudly showing.

Natasha pulled her son in for a hug.

“You’re gonna be my favorite huh?” She smiled at the toddler.

“Going to be a mama’s boy,” Steve smiled. “I was, didn’t turn out too bad,” he smirked.

Natasha felt herself smile softly at his comment. She hoped James turned out like him. Every bit of him. She had never met a man with such a big heart. She wanted nothing but for both of their kids to have all his goodness—all his courage. There had been very few things Natasha felt successful about in her life. Of course she was a mastermind when it came to her job and the skills she carried. However, the one thing she was most proud of was the father her children had. With him as their role model, she knew they would never feel betrayed and they would grow up knowing the love of a family—a parent—both their parents, unlike her upbringing.

“I hope they’re just like you,” Natasha said, almost in a whisper. “Just everything about you.”

“I hope they’re just like you,” Steve looked down at Sarah. “Strong, loving, caring—they’re lucky to have you as their mom, Nat. You have to give yourself credit. I’m lucky to be here with you. Honored in fact.”

Natasha bit her bottom lip at his compliment. Being a mom was something she had been for a good chunk of time now. It had sunk in. James and Sarah are her life, but being told that she was good at the role was new to her. She hardly knew what she was doing. All she knew was that she loves them and keeping them safe and happy was her goal for them.

“As I was saying,” Steve spoke again. “We had a good time out there, living the only life we really knew. They were great adventures, but my favorite times….” he trailed off, giving Natasha a cheesy smile. “They were the quiet times with you,” he admitted with a slight blush. “Dinners, cold pizzas, breakfast, walks, movie nights...sleeping…”

“I love you,” Natasha blurted out as they made eye contact.

She had been reciting the words over and over in her head for a while and she eventually was going to tell him, when they got home and things were not as on edge.

“I—,” she bit her tongue, stopping herself from making a pointless explanation. “I do, I do love you,” she poured. “I love you a lot, Steve. And I’ve never said that to anyone before so I’m sorry if that was not the right time—“

“I love you too,” Steve knew he was giving her possibly the cheesiest smile of all time, but it was hard to hide. He was madly in love with her and hearing her utter the words to him did insanely good things to his heart. “And it’s never the wrong time,” he leaned over to place a soft lingering kiss on her lips, trying not to crush Sarah on his lap and James on Natasha’s. “I love you, our kids—I want to go home and just be a family.”

“Okay,” Natasha nodded. “When this is done, we go home and enjoy the quiet times—well as quiet as toddlers are anyway.”


	14. Chapter 14

“Goodness, what?!” Natasha swung the door open at the frantic knocking.

Her face fell into bewilderment as she came face to face with three unfamiliar men.

“Can I help you?” She questioned, slowly closing the door.

“Agent Romanoff,” One of the men spoke.

“Nat, close the door,” Steve ordered from across the room.

As Natasha began to fully shut the door, the man shoved it open, hard, pushing Natasha to the ground. She quickly got to her feet, aiming to knock them down. She succeeded with one, however the other two were fast at capturing her.

“Steve, get them out,” she growled as Steve made the move towards her. “The twins, please!”

Steve hesitated for a brief moment, looking at her with worried eyes. But instead of pleading for help, she motioned for him to pick up the now frantic toddlers screaming at the commotion in the room. Steve grabbed James and Sarah and ran out towards the balcony door. He could hear Natasha fighting back at the men and he wished he was there by her side, helping her. But as James and Sarah cried against his chest in fear, he knew he had to focus.

“SAM! WANDA!” Steve screamed as he jumped off the balcony onto a roof landing.

He had no idea if Sam or Wanda were even in the hotel, he just needed someone to hear him. Someone he could trust and leave the children with while he went back for Natasha.

“WANDA!” He tried again.

Wanda ran out to her balcony, following the voice calling for her.

“Natasha, she’s in trouble!” Steve exclaimed as he caught sight of her. “In our room.”

Wanda nodded and disappeared once again. Steve felt a slight relief wash over him, although his heart was racing in pure panic. He jumped again, onto the next level of roofing, clutching James and Sarah tightly. They were both sniffling, tears fresh on their faces.

—

“Here!” Steve shoved both toddlers into Pepper’s arms as he caught sight of her.

The wailing coming from the twins tore his heart apart. He had not meant to hand them over like that and run off, but no one ever warns you at how fragile your heart becomes when you only have seconds go make decisions about your children and their mother. He never wanted to choose. Natasha without a doubt knew the children came first, and he knew that too. It was just that he wanted all of them. And right now, even though James and Sarah’s cries were echoing as he ran further and further away, they were safe and now he needed to get their mother safe as well.

“They’ll become orphans if both of us continue to risk our lives,” Natasha had said one day when they were getting ready for bed. “They needed at least one of us, both is ideal. I grew up as an orphan, not really something I want for my kids.”

And Steve prayed today was not one of those days where he was putting the twins in that situation. He prayed Natasha unleashed all that she had in the minutes he was trying to get their children to safety. And he prayed that Wanda proved him right, as always.

“Natasha?” Steve opened the door to see Wanda.

She had defeated the men that Steve briefly caught a glimpse of. They were on the floor, groaning in pain and their weapons were far from their reach.

“I don’t know where she went,” Wanda’s eyes were wide. “She was here, fighting with me and we were winning. I turned around and she was gone.”

Steve looked around the room for any signs that Natasha escaped another way, or that someone else took her.

“Oh that bitch,” Wanda snarled, realizing these men had another member on their team—the crazy woman they all wanted to rip apart the other day.

“Let’s go!” Steve ran out with Wanda following.

Pepper was still in the lobby when Steve and Wanda ran down. She was entertaining the twins the best way she could at the living area of the lobby. It was a busy lobby, people going in and out, workers flowing through. Steve felt reassured that the chances of anyone trying to kidnap his children in a semi-public setting was slim. There were far too many witnesses for that commotion.

“Dada pwaese,” Sarah reached out her little arms as she caught sight of her father. “Dada!” She cried wobbling over to him.

“Not now,” Steve tried to sound calm. “I’ll be back,” he bent down and placed a kiss on her forehead.

“Nooooo!” She cried and soon James was totting over to him. “Daaaaa!”

Pepper rushed over, giving him a sympathetic look as she tried to grab two confused toddlers.

“I—I can go,” Wanda spoke. “I can find Bucky or Tony and Sam,” she assured him. “You stay with them.”

Steve shook his head. Natasha needed him and for him to really feel assured, he needed to be out there looking for her. He needed to be the one to find her. But the two clinging onto each leg was making it hard to do what he felt he needed to.

“I’ll be back,” Steve patted their heads.

“Nooooo!” Two loud shreks echoed in the busy lobby.

“Pwease?” Sarah cried reaching up to grab his fingers. “Dada no.”

“I’m so sorry,” Steve lifted her up but handed her straight to Pepper, where she only cried even more, screaming bloody murder as he did the same to James. “I’ll be back,” he promised, but their cries were hard to avoid.

—

“I can’t do this anymore,” Steve’s head fell into his palm as they sat in the rental car.

Wanda had decided to drive because her head a little clearer than Steve’s and she wanted to get there in one piece.

“They were in danger because of me in the first place,” he groaned. “And they’re still in danger because of me.”

“You can’t blame yourself,” Wanda said softly. “You had no idea. Natasha had no idea. You couldn’t have known.”

There was silence and Wanda took that as a sign to keep driving as fast as she could. She was unfamiliar with the roads of Turkey and she had no idea what the speed limits were to begin with. But as long as Steve was not complaining about her driving, she kept going.

Steve’s phone rang, Tony frantically telling him to change route. Head to the hospital instead as they were able to find the woman as she attempted to take Natasha into one of their underground facilities. Except Natasha seemed pretty out of it when they grabbed her. Bucky was already taking her to the hospital, causing Steve to curse a few times on the phone before directing Wanda towards another direction where Tony noted the hospital to be.

“My life is pretty strange,” Steve chuckled in disbelief.

Wanda slowly turned his head to glance over at him on the passenger seat but remained silent.

“I get in the icebox and I basically am just frozen for seventy years,” he rubbed his face. “I meet Stark, the Avengers form, then there’s Natasha. I always knew meeting her had a purpose, not just for the team,” Steve went on.

“Hmm…” Wanda made a sound to indicate she was listening, knowing that Steve was not expecting much out of her, he just wanted to be heard.

“She was always so intimidating, mysterious. But then she slowly showed her humor, that was what I remembered first. When she started cracking jokes. I thought well, she’s warming up. Then she would send me random text messages about movies I needed to watch,” Steve rambled. “After that I started to see her softer side. She became a great friend. She constantly forced me to try and date all these women. It always made me wonder if she was so occupied herself that I felt I needed to, but then it turns out she was just trying to get me into this time and she actually spent her free time reading,” he laughed, causing Wanda to smile.

“Out of all things, I thought she was out doing god knows what on her downtime. But oddly she read. She read a lot of Russian books. She said it was just to not forget her native tongue. Eventually she let me spend her downtime with her. And she’s always been great company. I remember she and I told were driving back from Clint’s farm. We had been friends for a few years then—“

“I remember you two visited them a few months after I joined the team,” Wanda decided to throw in her part as it seemed relevant.

Steve nodded. “Yeah, she really wanted to spend some time with the baby and I was all for some quiet farm time. It was a great weekend. We were doing the long drive and she had fallen asleep. I remember looking over and her and thinking I was in love. That was what being in love really felt like and I was screwed.”

“That was literally like almost ten years ago,” Wanda pointed out.

“I know,” Steve sighed. “For years and years, she and I were just close friends. She always said we hardly made sense as friends but at the same time, it was a perfect fit. She said I brought out her mellower side and well, she was kind of the only reason I stayed with the team,” he admitted.

Wanda felt her eyes grow wide at Steve’s admission, but then she realized that made sense. Steve had been tired of fighting—picking sides.

“I felt my first real broken heart that day she went missing and trust me, I thought my heart had been beaten before. Being in love with someone so close to you, but not being able to do anything about it? It had plenty of painful days,” Steve looked out the window. “She left without a word and I refused to believe she would do that to me. But at some point, I think I thought it was easier to believe she left willingly. That she was safe living the life she wanted—“

“She would never do that to you,” He knew that and Wanda knew he was well aware, but it was still nice to hear.

“I always thought about her, but the night she showed up at my doorstep, I was really surprised. I guess I expected her to call one day rather than show up. She looked miserable, I could tell she had been through a hell of a journey. And then she introduced me to the twins and my heart broke again. The three of them were so lost, sad, and just worn out. I vowed that night that I would never let anything happen to them again. I would never have us away from each other,” Steve placed his head in his palms. “Now Nat is unconscious in a hospital, James and Sarah are terrified and I just left them.”

“It’ll be okay Steve,” Wanda spoke calmly as she turned into the hospital’s parking lot. “You and I both know Natasha is strong. And your kids, they’ll forgive you.”

Wanda parked the car and let out a sigh.

“Let’s go find Nat,” she tried to give him a reassuring smile.

—

“Only family members are allowed in there,” the doctor added after her long speel.

“She’s the mother of my children, I’m family,” Steve informed her.

He could see the uneasy expression on the doctor’s face. She had wanted him to tell her that was his wife in there because clearly she was judging based on his statement.

“Are you an ex husband?” She questioned. “Because being linked through children or being once married does not necessarily mean you are her—“

“We are together,” Steve groaned. “I should be first to know anything.”

“Sir, you could have just said she’s your wife and saved us all of this patient confidentiality spat,” the doctor informed him.

“Look she’s not my wife—yet—that’s her call. But I’m—“

The doctor said so many things, Steve eventually tuned out. He really wanted to interrupt her and tell her he only cared about being in the room with Natasha. He had stopped listening the moment she said Natasha will be okay, just minor head trauma, but a little rest will do her justice. After that, Steve heard nothing but just sounds.

“I don’t advice getting on a plane any time soon. You two are American tourist, right?”

“Uhh yeah, okay,” Steve nodded.

And finally, she opened the door and urged him inside.

“I told you to stay with them,” Natasha groaned as she slowly opened both eyes.

Steve smiled at her.

“They’re in good hands,” he reassured.

“You promised they would never be orphans,” Natasha scolded him.

“They’re not, we’re both here,” Steve reminded her. “And we’re going home as soon as they clear you.”

Natasha grumbled but stood up, rubbing her head as she fully made contact with the bright lights.

“We’re going home, we’re moving, and we’re never associating with anything revolving a threat, mission, battle—whatever else is out there,” Steve spoke, his face agitated. “I’m not going through this again.”

“We live dangerous lives,” Natasha shrugged.

“You made me choose between you and the kids. I’m not doing that again,” he folded his arms across his chest. “Let’s just live a normal life where you only make me choose between paint colors and furniture, okay?”

Natasha smiled at him statement.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I really have to apologize for the delay. I unfortunately have been going through medical things and it just brought me so down, I had a hard time writing :( I managed to get out of town and relax for the week so I was able to get this down while on the plane. I also worked on the next chapter so hopefully I don’t make you wait too long!
> 
> A bit of a filler chapter, but hope you still enjoy!

“You want to talk more about what happened?” Steve asked after the nurse gave Natasha another dose of painkillers for her throbbing head.

She sighed loudly, glancing at the TV that had been playing endlessly as background noise.  
“I think they’re using me as bait to get their hands on you,” she spoke. “And the babies.”

Steve groaned. He expected that.

“They’re not sorry. They’re trying to create an army and you’re their main source. You’re the only success they see,” Natasha pressed her lips together. “You’re the experiment gone right they want to base off whatever they’re creating for themselves.”

Steve sighed loudly.

“You know,” he sat at the edge of Natasha’s bed. “This would have just been another typical thing. Someone after me. I’d put up a fight and carry on. But now—“

“The twins are involved,” Natasha interrupted him. “There’s sort of baggage now.”

Steve shook his head. They were far from baggage. He loved them all. He wanted to protect them at all cost. And most of all, he simply wanted to have quiet times and be the family he thought he would never get to experience.

“I know you’re not about that domestic marriage—“

“Whoa, whoa—“

“I’m not proposing,” Steve cut her off. “I just want to know if it’s a possibility?” He asked, hope in his eyes.

“If marriage for us is a possibility?” Natasha knew what he was asking, yet she felt the need to clarify as she allowed the question to sink in.

Steve nodded.

She pondered for a brief moment. In all honesty, she assumed marriage was nowhere near a consideration for her. She was not known to be the type of woman you marry. Why would Captain America—good Catholic, boy scout, all sorts of goodness want to be married to her? A wicked, deadly, and one with a hell of a dark history—why would she be the candidate? Because they had children together. Because she got pregnant and a good Catholic man like Steve Rogers would do the right thing.

“I don’t think getting married because we have children—“

“I’m asking because I love you,” Steve spoke. “Not because we have James and Sarah. It’s because one day, if you want, I want to be your husband and I want you to be my wife. Only if you want.”

Natasha gave him a playful smirk, regardless of the fact that her mind was spinning. She had Steve Rogers throwing the idea of marriage. He wanted her to be his wife. The twist and turns of her life have been by far crazy. From an orphan brainwashed to become a walking weapon to the person she has become. She had become more open to Steve’s point of view. She could see his desire for a family, to have someone, and to build a home together. Years ago, she would have thrown the idea out the window. Living off suitcases and only ever being at one place for a month at most was the lifestyle she knew.

“No need to make a decision right now,” Steve spoke warmly, rubbing her arm. “I just wanted to know where you stood with that idea now.”

“One day, Steve,” she wanted to tell him yes, but that took a lot of emotional courage and she was still working on perfecting that.

“Good enough for me,” he placed a kiss on her cheek and sending her a charming smile.

Natasha blushed slightly at his action. He made her melt and flutter and she could scold him for it. Yet she wanted more. She wanted to always feel this loved and wanted. To be cherished and valued. Goodness she could probably marry the man today. But she was not ready to fully admit that just yet.

“Just get better so we can head home,” Steve said firmly. “Not taking my eyes off you.”

“Who has James and Sarah for the night then?” Natasha asked nervously.

She had never been away from them for this long since she escaped from that facility. Steve could see the fear in her eyes as she tried to be okay with the idea of being away from the twins for the rest of the day.

“We’re leaving tonight, we’ll be with them. For now Pepper has them and they’re fine,” he assured. 

“Doctor said don’t get on a plane and fly home. But we’re going home tonight.”

“What about those bastards?”

“The team has it under control. They’re working closely with the Turkish government now that there have been cases and cases of women reported that have been kidnapped and used as lab testing, as well as babies,” Steve cringed at every word he spoke.

—

“It was brutal in there,” Natasha said after a long silence filled the hospital room. “I didn’t know what was going and any other given situation, I would have fought and risked my life. But I had a baby—at the time I didn’t know there was two of them. They never told me,” she let out a sad smile. “I was just thinking this baby needs to live. They said if I cooperated, they would never hurt the baby. But that was a lie. They hurt all of us either way.”

“You did good Nat,” Steve reminded her, placing a comforting kiss on the top of her head. “Because of you, I got the family that I’ve always wanted. You have to know that no one can ever top that.”

Natasha leaned closer, resting her head on Steve’s shoulder. For many years he had become the comfort she never really thought she needed before. Yet there he was; the feeling of what she had always imagined home was.

“You made me a mother,” she choked out. “I never knew I wanted to be a mom until it happened.”

Steve squeezed her hand in his. They talked about them, established a little something as where they can go in the future, but they hardly discussed their roles. They were parents together. They had a whole new value for one another. It was no longer just trust and teaming up—it was about being role models for two little people. They had to balance one another. Parenting together was a whole lot different than leading a crew. And when it came to their new roles—it also meant a new level of fondness, respect, and love had been opened.

“You are a wonderful and amazing mother,” Natasha glared at him. “And yes I’m going to keep repeating that,” Steve added as he recognized her expression.

“They tortured me Steve,” Natasha closed her eyes to sink in her own words. “I failed as a mother at first and my only goal was to get them out and try to be this mother that I knew nothing about. I have no role model when it comes to being a parent. I don’t know what I’m doing,” she sobbed lightly. “I don’t want them in danger anymore.”

Steve gave her hand another comforting squeeze. He could reassure her with words all he wanted, but he knew she just needed to be heard. She needed a shoulder to cry on more than anything. Coming back to Turkey was a mistake as it constantly triggered fresh memories and it out them in danger.

“I promise to protect you, James, and Sarah with my life,” Steve vowed. “I want nothing more than to turn time back and make things be different, but I can’t and all I can do is try to ease away those memories and hopefully make better ones…?” He smiled shyly, eyebrow arching up.

Natasha’s eyes flickered in awe at his statement.

“You’ve done a lot for me already,” she said softly. “I’m just really glad I get to this all of this with you. And I mean that. I do.”

She looked up at him and leaned in for a soft kiss on the lips, savoring the vulnerability the moment had to offer. They were two people that would have never made sense at first glance. Their values were different, their backgrounds were far from a match, and their take on life were nowhere near on the same path. Yet they made it work somehow. He unleashed a side of her she had not grown to known too much. He opened a door for her that gave her a different perspective on life itself. And she somehow made it to his heart. He saw something in her that made him be a better person, whether she admitted it or not. They were so different, and all at once so fitting for one another.

“I don’t think too often about my mom these days,” Steve cleared his throat as he finally spoke again. “From time to time I do, but with the years passing by, she’s kind of been a here and there memory,” he explained as Natasha’s face fell into confusion. “I miss her the same and I love her the same, but now is when I really wished she was around. For her to meet you, to meet her grandchildren. I think she’d be very proud of me,” he grinned with a reminiscing sadness. “She would be proud of you too,” he added cheekily.

Natasha shook her head. She was not the type of woman you bring home to your mother.

“She would see what I see in you,” Steve continued. “Smart, brave, funny, beautiful, caring, and one amazing woman.”

“Steve,” Natasha warned playfully. “You know I don’t do well accepting cute compliments. They’re flattering but I don’t know how to take them because I’m used to—“

“I’m old fashioned,” Steve pointed out. “I will wine and dine you.”

“We don’t do that. I’m Russian,” Natasha smirked.

“Yes you are,” Steve nodded. “A Russian beauty”

“Do you really want to marry me?” Natasha asked, changing their playful tone to serious.

“Of course,” Steve nodded. “But on your terms.”

“You’d be okay if I never want to get married?”

Steve nodded again. “I’ll be happy just to be with you.”

“Marriage is important to you,” Natasha pointed out.

Steve patted her upper thigh lightly.

“Well I found someone more important,” he spoke honestly. “Missions were important to you and then James and Sarah happened and they’re more important now.”

“And you,” Natasha added. “You’re important to me too. And not just because we share children together. But even before that. I always just wanted what was best for you.”

“We’ve always been a good team, Nat.”

“You know, I’ve always been perfectly fine being alone.”

“I know that,” Steve smiled at her reassuringly.

“But ever since all of this happened, all I could think about was you,” Natasha admitted. “I was always cold, alone, and I just wanted you,” she let out a loud breath. “And I realized then just how much I spend time with you. Just how much I missed you so much and I don’t miss people.”

It was clear that a lot had changed for them. Both individually and together. Steve was a lot better at adjusting to companionship in that sense than Natasha, but she knew she was more than okay with him leading this one mission. In more ways than she was willing to admit, she has learned a lot from him. What she classified as odd and strange traits eventually became what made him this all-around goodness.

“You’ll ask me one day?” Natasha asked, her face mixed with the suddenly constant nerve-wrecking feeling and yet admiration.

“If you give me permission?” Steve asked cheekily.

She simply nodded. She wondered if as a little girl, she dreamt of meeting a man that would fall in love with her. One that would make her feel all this love and treasure her. She wondered if she had considered marriage before or being a mom. The memories were not there, but she believed she may have fantasized that type of life before. Because as Steve sat next to her, a comforting grip on her leg, the idea did not feel foreign to her. It could be that Steve Rogers had just held her heart for so long, she just knew it made sense. They made sense.


	16. Chapter 16

Eight weeks later:

“I was thinking we could go house hunting today,” Steve grinned.

Natasha rolled her eyes.

She knew that was coming. Steve had only brought it up a handful of times already and everytime she tries to figure out ways to compromise and make use of what space they had in his house, he was quick to comment that it was too small. Too small for two curious toddlers.

“I mean I should stop renting,” He pointed out. “Tony always tells me to invest, so let’s invest in a house.”

“Okay,” Natasha nodded as she picked up the stuff flamingo that Sarah had most likely stashed in between the cushions.

“Okay?” Steve nearly spat.

He expected a lot of protesting and argumentative comebacks on why it was a terrible idea. He was ready to take on this battle.

“If I have to see the reality of it,” Natasha began. “Then you’re right. The twins are growing, a yard for them to play in would be nice and I’ve never had my own house before, so okay. Let’s go look.”

Natasha decided to agree because even if she was not that type of girl, shopping for a house was amusing. She never had one. The Tower was the closest to a home she had, so giving James and Sarah a home they can grow up in and have memories in, she was all for it. Plus, finding the right house usually takes months anyway, which meant she has plenty of time to stall before commitment with that. She was perfectly fine living in the house Steve had made a home. But she was also okay with getting to start fresh and building a home together in that sense.

“How many bedrooms do you want?” Steve questioned curiously.

“Three?” Natasha randomly picked.

“Maybe four,” Steve elaborated. “Because they won’t want to share a room forever and then we need a guest room.”

Of course Steve had thought it all through. Natasha figured it was better to just let him do it his way because she honestly did not have any opinions on what type of house she envisioned. She assumed Steve did, because he is old-fashioned and the 40s did encourage that all-American dream. But then she knew Steve would want her input.

—-

Despite not really being in the mood for house-hunting, the first house Steve took her to was perfect. It was an olive color house with white trimming and it was big. It was actually a lot of house, more than she envisioned—if she had to picture one. But it looked so homey, even just from the outside. It had a nice long driveway that gave it enough privacy from the neighborhood and big tall bushes that framed the front yard.

“Flowa,” Sarah smiled, pointing across the front yard.

“Twee,” James chimed in.

  
“Are you going to be keeping up with the gardening?!” Natasha questioned.

The front yard was very well kept and while she enjoyed cooking and it has been a habit of hers lately because she had two growing toddlers to feed—there was no way in hell the Black Widow would be water plants and trimming the yard. No.

“It’ll give Sam something to do,” Steve joked. “Come on, let’s go inside.” He motioned towards the door as he held both James’ and Sarah’s hands.

“You have a key?” Natasha asked.

“No, I just have my ways,” Steve answered with his cheesy grin.

Steve helped the twins hop up the two steps that led to the front door before encouraging Natasha to open the door. It was unlocked and she was greeted by a very spacious opening.

“This is a lot of house,” She commented. “It’s literally too big.”

“But it’s roomy,” Steve pointed out. “Five bedrooms. And it’s not a bad commute to the city.”

“Why would we need that many bedrooms?” This was where Natasha protested. “I’m not sure I can handle all of this.”

“We need guest rooms,” Steve simply noted. “Maybe Clint and Laura will come visit and they can have their room and the kids can have room, you never know.”

The house was beautiful. It was something Natasha never imagined to call her home. Her entire life had fitted in a suitcase before she was in a new country every other month, there was no such thing as a home. Owning a house was a huge change in her life, but she supposed it came with this chapter. Children needed homes and she wanted that more than anything for them.

The house was unfurnished, which meant James and Sarah were loving the echo that their little footsteps made as they roamed around. Once Steve let go of their hands, they were quick to bounce around and let their voices fill the place.

Natasha had to look up at the large ceiling to stop herself from being emotional. She thought of how Laura always described her favorite sound to be “pitter patter of their feet” and it was this very moment that Natasha finally understood why. She could imagine James and Sarah running down the hall or across the living room. She could imagine herself stepping over stuff animals and groaning at finding a toy in every corner of the house—their home.

How did she end up deserving this type of happiness?

Steve. He brought it all out. He offered her a sense of living, a taste of being normal. He showed her love and what having a family meant. It was him who gave her the impossible—the ability to be a mother, to be called ‘mama’ by two beautiful children. He was the one who just kept on giving and making all the things she scuffed and rolled her eyes at to be everything she never knew she ached for.

“I want this house,” Natasha finally spoke aloud.

Steve was down the hall to the other room, showing James and Sarah something on the other side of the glass door.

“You have only seen the entrance?” Steve’s face was filled with confusion at her sudden outburst.

“It just feels like a home,” Natasha admitted.

Steve smiled at her.

“Okay but at least explore with us,” he instead, leading her down to where the sliding door to the backyard was. “We still need to look at the kitchen, yard, and upstairs!”

Natasha just followed, she was ready to settle for the place regardless. It was spacious, open, and bright. The walls were grand and she wondered if they were going to be that type of family that had cheesy portraits framed.

They made their way to the rest of the house and Natasha had to keep reminding herself that it was a lot. Probably bigger than what they really need, but also very fitting.

“The twins can share this room for awhile,” Steve pointed out as they entered the first bedroom upstairs. “And then when they’re tired of each other, one can take this room.”

Natasha has always lived a minimal lifestyle and she wondered if they would ever really fill in every space in the house. It was roomy and plenty of room for them to get personal space from one another.

“And then this is the master bedroom,” Steve led them to the end of the hall. “Our room,” he winked.

The room was definitely a lot bigger than the bedroom they all managed to share now.

“It’s roomy, lots of closet space,” He was basically the realtor and Natasha concluded he had been reading and researching about this house for a while now. “With extra rooms, you can take one to be like a personal whatever you want it to be,” Steve offered.

Natasha appreciated the suggestion but she knew she would not need it. She had the whole house, she had plenty of areas where she could have it be whatever.

“I still have four houses on the list to see,” Steve informed her.

“What if I really like this one?” Natasha asked.

“Then we put an offer and scratch the other ones,” Steve answered.

It had taken him forever to convince Natasha to look at houses, if she fell in love with the first one and wanted it, he would not argue. He had already gotten way more than he expected from her when it came to house-hunting.

“I want it,” She insisted, admiring the way James and Sarah have already sat themselves down in the middle of the bedroom and began playing with their little singing toy car and airplane.

\---

“You sure about this?” Natasha asked after Steve got off the phone with Tony in regards to the house.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Steve questioned.

“Because this may not be the life you wanted to settle for?” Natasha responded.

“I mean you’ve dealt with me for over a decade now and you haven’t killed me, so I think I’m safe,” Steve shrugged playfully.

Natasha gave him a crooked smile before sitting on the couch next to him.

“This whole thing is more than I ever saw for myself,” She said. “I already know I don’t deserve any of this, but I’m taking it and I’m running with it because I’m happy. But what about you?”

Steve frowned.

“I’m very happy,” He declared. “Please stop questioning if you deserve this or if it’s what I want. You know I don’t do anything I’m not set on. Trust me, I’m beyond happy.”

Natasha beamed at him.

“Then I want a home together with you.”

And that was all Steve needed to know he had won her over. She was willing to share and build this life together with him.

**Author's Note:**

> Goodness I'm a complete sucker for Romanogers and I'm not sure how this fandom is going to go. I fell for them fast and hard and usually I end up driving myself crazy. Plus the storylines for them just keep popping up for potential fanfics! Thus, this idea came to life and I held onto it until I literally had the next four chapters laid out. Hoping to update this fast, as I just need to edit the upcoming chapters :)


End file.
